What a really good love looks like.

A college classmate in another city passed by me and made an appointment to have dinner and catch up with me. I was surprised to see her in the restaurant when I didn't see her for three years. Dark skin, resentful eyes, purple-black skirt wrapped in a thin body, a smile after the meeting, revealing how lonely. Before the food was served, he cried into a tearful man. She, still entangled in the relationship when she was in college, refused to give up and could not get married, but in the twinkling of an eye, she became an old leftover woman in her twenties.

I am aware of her relationship and have been a witness for a period of time. Although not the first love, but they met in youth, they also had a simple good time. He was born in the countryside and had high expectations for the future. After the sweet period of love, differences emerged. She is not a girl who loves to learn, and she always feels trembling in the face of his repeated excellent demands. When he graduated, he was admitted to the civil service, she failed, and there was another quarrel, and she finally broke up, but she didn't want him to kneel down in tears, apologizing, admitting her mistake, saying that she should not force her life, but only hoped that both of them could struggle. She also remembered the past of the two people and followed him to another city.

She called to tell most of the rest of the story. It has been difficult for her to find a satisfactory job, but his career is stable, but he has not made much progress. Her family wanted her to go back, and she thought about it, but every time he would lose his temper, saying that she did not ask for progress and did not trust him. He saw her crying and begged her not to leave. For this reason, he slapped himself in the mouth in front of her and slammed his hand on the coffee table, dripping blood on the floor.

I asked her why she didn't give up, love has become like this, how can she see a better future? She shook her head and was silent for a long time, saying that she would not give up.

Yes, since ancient times, love has always been eulogized over and over again. The miss between Cowherd and Weaver Girl is the life and death of Titanic. Neither violent nor miserable nor crying is enough to show the purity of this love. The power of tragedy is to make people immediately have a sense of dignity, with the impulse to dedicate themselves, one more point of pain, 10% more reluctant to give up.

So there are always a lot of good girls who are trapped in such a tragic love, worry about their eyebrows every day and can't sleep every night. What is it you don't want to give up? Those tossing and turning nights, the painful mood, like drugs, can not stop, this drug addiction, is hidden in the sublime psychedelic, thinking that they are the savior, that each other's world can not do without their own. Or there may be unreconciled, just like two people playing on the seesaw, I pay so much, the opposite person, but always light, you want to one day be able to overwhelm each other, at least the game can not end abruptly when I still want to bring the situation back. Or, I also understand that a girl caught up in a bad love is also sentimentally attached to a little bit of good that once existed, because the quantity is rare, especially precious, and it is a pearl that lights up his courage again and again in the dark night. Just like my classmate, he always burst into tears when he ate steamed bread and pickles for half a month to buy her a birthday present.

But no matter how shining the night pearl is, I want to say, girl, you love the wrong person and misread love.

In this world, there is really another kind of love, no heartbreaking pain, no thorny temptation for you to come and go, and no tragic hanging if you break up. This kind of love makes you feel at ease, down-to-earth, and untangled. It doesn't make you worry about gain or loss, or belittle yourself. Such a good love is like a pot of good soup, which supports people and gives you consideration and care from body to heart. Make you more and more confident, temperament more and more beautiful, such as the wine brewing over the years. Your waist is getting fuller and your smile lines are quietly deepening, but others think you are becoming more and more beautiful, with a pleasant positive energy all over you. A woman who has a really good love will be very generous, have sincere pity for the misfortune of others, and have an unjealous mind for the wind and water of her friends.

I remember the psychological writer Bi Shumin once talked about a girl who asked her for medical treatment. the girl was enthusiastically pursued by a boy. She didn't understand her heart and hesitated to accept it. The boy cut his finger and wrote down a promise with blood on it. This red, stabbed the girl's eyes, confused, she asked: does this mean that he loves very much? The answer given by Bi Shumin is no. When I read this story at the age of 18, I just remembered this conclusion deeply. Later in those years, I was confused in the love covered with all kinds of labels, and then I gradually had the understanding of empathy. Any love that makes you feel uneasy and suffocated is not a healthy and good love. The pain of being badly hurt by love is worth remembering, but not worth holding on to.

It's easy to judge whether a love is good or bad. Does the corner of your mouth often show a smile like the spring breeze on your face? Can you happily accept a very true self? Wherever you go, do you know where your heart is? If the answer is yes, then this is what a really good love looks like. (Wen / Leng Mei)