Essays

Life seems to be a foregone conclusion, so insipid. Smile, smile is so unnatural, smile flesh does not smile. Cry, however, swallow hidden suffocation, can not cry. Every day is perfunctory life, repeating yesterday's departure and then starting again.

When I chat with my friends, I always comfort others and tell myself how happy and happy I am. In the eyes of my friends, I am a funny, lovely, humorous little girl. In their eyes, I am Xiao Zhu, who has no worries, no worries and no mind. But no one has ever known my true heart, even the real me. When you are sad, you always like not to speak, for fear of accidentally telling others your sadness. Aggrieved, I chose to take a bath, let the water and tears rinse down together, calm down, relax. Because I want to tell myself, I want to be strong, if not strong, cowardly to who to see.

In fact, I have nothing, no people who know me, no goals, no brains, no ability. I don't have the ability to take care of my family and share anything for my family. I can't afford to buy the clothes I like. I have no ability to go where I want to go. I don't have the ability to do too much, so I'm very tired now.

I often ask myself if I am comfortable living like this, but what can I do if I don't?

Accustomed to a person listening to their favorite songs, think of themselves as the protagonist inside, so aftertaste. Used to a person holding a cell phone at home in a daze, chatting with friends and saying polite words. Accustomed to not like to go out to play, accustomed to not promising anyone, accustomed to not watching boring movies, accustomed to the habit of not used to.

This year, I am not self-willed. Because I'm not qualified to be capricious. Use a smile to replace all the good and bad, sad and unsad people and things, use a smile instead, even after the smile I still have nothing!

This year, I am no longer self-willed. In the face of scolding, I began to use the most irresponsible way to face evasion! Whether I am right or wrong, I do not want to explain and Cheng Qing, because I am used to being misunderstood!

This year, I am no longer self-willed. I feel like I've made a distinction between what I like or don't like, what I want or don't want. Although I don't have the ability to fight for it, I still have a little sense of satisfaction. At least I have a reason to live, not great but also reluctantly!

This year, I am no longer self-willed. I have passed the age of dreaming, and only by remembering harder can I not miss every happy segment.

Hum a happy song, end this feeling!