I should smile and forget it, it will take me a lifetime

Late at night, it is still a person tapping the keyboard in front of the cold screen, tapping the messy words that only he can understand; still listening to sad music; still unable to sort out the upset mood. Everything is still the same, but tonight, there is a kind of pain in my heart! My heart was divided into two valves. Left atrium is pain, right atrium is love! It was quiet all around, no wind, no rain! Nothing, the only thing I can hear is the sound of music intertwined with the sound of the keyboard and my heartbeat! Why do you still stay here? Is it just a habit?

Maybe I'm really used to indulging in words, maybe I'm really used to waiting, maybe I'm really used to wandering.

Quietly waiting, quietly accompanying, staring from afar. Every moment, I will have a different mood, or happy, or melancholy, or depressed, or lost, or sad! And all of it is just because of a sigh, a word, an expression or an action. Always do not understand, for me, what kind of love you give? Habitually set you free, accustomed to giving you a piece of space, accustomed not to let our love be bound. So, a lot of things about you I don't explore, a lot of things I don't ask! Afraid of your indifference, afraid of your silence, afraid of your anger, afraid of not hearing from you! Maybe it's just because I care too much.

It was meant to be when I met you. Your sincerity has captured my heart, and I think nothing is more deadly than this. Your brilliant smiling face, let me palpitate; your wise and humorous, let me smile; your gentle and considerate, let me happy sweet; your comfort and encouragement, let me open-minded and calm. Always obsessed with you, happy for you, sad for you, tender for you, I am duty-bound to fall in love with you, I indulge in the beauty of love.

But what went wrong? Now, no longer feel your heart is moved by me, can only feel that your indifference is getting stronger and stronger. The smile that made me intoxicated has also escaped without a trace. Have you changed? My shadow laughs at my people are so stupid. Have you changed? I can't keep up with you. Have you changed? I no longer understand what you think, and I no longer see the concern in your eyes. In the days without you, I count the memories alone, embracing the love of only myself, my expectations are still flying in the sleeping dream, and I am still in love with you all the time. How much I want to ask you: did you veto everything I gave? Or do you regard love as a game?

I can no longer find you, I have lost your trace. There's nothing I can do about you. I'm completely desperate. It is you who decide my sadness when we meet so much in this life. God is doomed to this relationship, is fate to break through the realistic distance, I should not look at your eyes, should not love you more, let heaven laugh at my madness, Ren Mingyue laugh at my madness, a cavity yearning has become a sweet sadness. Is Tian Chang Di Jiu (Eternal Dumpling) a beautiful dream? After waking up, I was already heartbroken, I was at a loss, melancholy at the fork of the choice, I could only leave myself in the sad corner. It's just that I don't understand yet, why do you leave so calmly? Do you know that I take you very seriously? Do you know how much you hurt me? Why does love end up with pain? My fragility is really embarrassed and vulnerable, and the tears falling from the corners of my eyes are the traces left by the pain.

Do you remember? The memory of that hot summer, the love scattered in the wind has evaporated. Fruitless love, the unfinished concern is still entangled with your shadow, and I must learn to use many words to hide that I do not touch the bloody scar, because I will think of you, I am afraid to face myself, my will is always swallowed by pain, because you always remind me that the past will never pass, and there is a kind of true love that is not mine. If I had never loved you, I would not have lost myself, the thorn of missing stuck in my heart, because you will always remind me that although I get the world, some happiness is not mine.

My broken heart like spray, the love that disappeared like smoke, could not be erased like tattoos, I sighed long, my heart was covered with dust, and you didn't respond even if I shouted to see you. Even with a hopeless expectation, it doesn't help now.

So, I tried very hard to end this obsessive relationship, but I found that I didn't have the courage to say goodbye to you! If I am destined to fall in love with you in today's life, but I will hurt myself in the end, I can only accept my fate and stop making unnecessary struggles. In this life, I can only think of everything about you quietly and taste my pain slowly. You never thought: you are destined to be my deepest pain in this life!

Looking back on the past bit by bit, I understand that this relationship is like an hourglass, no matter how much I have invested and paid, the sand will still flow away little by little, and the last thing I hold in my hand is only a wisp of breeze and the tears that have long been dried by the wind! True or false moment, the edge of the dream, no matter how infatuated can not be drawn into a circle. Good memories, just the occasional instant smile in the corner of the mouth, the feeling for you should stop, I should smile and forget it, with my whole life