If you don't listen to your parents, you can grow up.

Beibei:

Hello, Mr. Fengxu. I am a new graduate majoring in finance from an ordinary university. I will go to a securities company for an internship tomorrow.

I failed in the postgraduate entrance examination before (in fact, I feel that I did not make a complete effort), and now I am considering whether or not to take the postgraduate entrance examination again.

I don't want to be an account manager in securities, but my parents think it's a good job.

I want to take the National people's Congress or the financial master of Zhongcai, but I don't know if I should take the exam. If I don't pass the exam, I will lose my job.

I'm going to an internship tomorrow, and I feel full of depression.

I am 22 years old this year. If I fail to pass the exam this year, I will be 23 next year. When I pass the exam, I will be 24, and when I graduate, I will be 26. I really think I will be old. I feel that my life is hopeless.

Teacher, what do you think I should do?

Hello, Beibei:

Generally speaking, whether in counseling or in my previous articles, I try my best to avoid giving clearly directed advice on other people's life choices.

But with regard to the issue you want to talk about this time, I think maybe I need to make the suggestion a little more straightforward to you:

I suggest you make your own choice.

There are two main meanings of advising you to make your own choices.

First, stop blindly following your parents' advice or advice on your life choices, career choices, and even future partner choices.

Second, but since you have made your own choice, it means that you have to take full responsibility for your own choice.

In fact, take the postgraduate entrance examination or go to a securities company for an internship. It doesn't matter which one you choose last. What matters is whether this choice is the result of your own will.

For everyone, the most important topic in life is to be himself.

However, only when you take the initiative to participate in your life, and your life is full of your own active choices, can we feel that we are being ourselves.

And most importantly, only when you are being yourself can you really learn from life and grow.

If your current life is the implementation of the will of others and the choice made by others, then first of all, you will not feel that you are being yourself, and you will be unhappy.

Second, your growth will stagnate.

This stagnation is reflected in all aspects of your life, mental, motivation, life, work, and so on.

Only when a person's life is carried out by his own will can he feel a complete freedom and freedom.

But because most people are used to being influenced by their parents, others, opinion leaders, bosses and so on, many people are accustomed to and adapt to a "chosen, controlled" way of life.

But the most frightening effect is that since many people have lived in this way, we all default to this chosen way of life as normal and natural.

And many people do not have the opportunity to experience the kind of psychological freedom in which they take the initiative to choose and create their own life, so most people are chosen to live all their lives, and when their children are born, they also use this way to control their children.

Most parents will make choices for their children, often in the name of what is best for you.

In the eyes of these parents, they are indeed doing what is best for their children. But in fact, the result is often the opposite.

Excessive intervention by parents usually only hinders the growth of their children, castrates their nature, and misses the opportunity to make them more mature.

A man's growth comes from being able to be himself and be responsible for himself. at this time, he will try a lot and make a lot of mistakes, but it is because of his mistakes and his attitude of being responsible for himself that he can continue to grow.

Parents' control over their children, on the one hand, reduces their children's chances of making mistakes, which also reduces their opportunities to learn from experience and grow up.

On the other hand, it will make it impossible for the child to be responsible for himself. Even if he is very old and has his own family and career, he may still have a parent psychologically controlling him and being responsible for him.

For example, Beibei, you are 22 years old. At this age, you are still not responsible for your choices, you are still afraid to do what you want to do, and you are still interfered by your parents in your career choices. This is actually a typical sign that many young people like you can't be responsible for yourself.

What you need to realize is that you still have a long way to go in your life, and if you are just out of campus, it is impossible to "decide" your future if you choose to be a junior college master or an account manager.

In your own understanding, you are already old at the age of 26, but in fact, many people in modern society who come out of campus at the age of 28 and 29 have just started their lives at this time.

You should allow yourself to try and explore for at least one or two years, or even three or four years, because only by constant trial and error can you continue to grow until you mature.

You can't find a suitable job as soon as you get out of campus, and your life won't be plain sailing after finishing Junior Master.

So there is no need to raise the problem to a high level and look at it with a normal mind.

Of course, the most important thing is that you don't put yourself in a hole in your understanding of this matter.

You don't have only two choices: to take the postgraduate entrance exam or to be an account manager of a securities company.

Since the postgraduate entrance examination is what you want, but the reality does seem to have some restrictions, then if you can get a master's degree that is not part-time, it is also a feasible strategy.

You're old enough to start a job, but since the account manager doesn't want to do it, why not change to a job that makes you feel better?

Or work for a year or two, accumulate some social experience, and then go back to study for a master's degree.

In fact, you have a lot of choices, but the key is not to set yourself a lot of impossible obstacles:

I can't disobey my parents' will. I must not be without a job. If I am old, I will be hopeless.

These obstacles themselves are stumbling blocks that you use to limit yourself. most of the time, it is not this stone that really blocks you, but that you think the stone is too strong and too weak about your own abilities.

Sometimes you might as well try to kick this stumbling block. When you find that this stone is easily kicked off by you, you may realize that most of the unhappiness, depression, frustration, etc., are imposed on yourself.

Do not misunderstand the idea of the article just because of the title of the article. our growth is not to oppose and rebel, but to choose the path that best suits us and allows us to grow. In one's life, independence and self-improvement are always the most important. Why can't you just choose according to the advice of others? Because each person has a different range of abilities, different personalities, and different resources, then suggestions can only be used as a reference, and the real subject of doing things is themselves. Only by reorganizing resources and implementing them according to their own actual situation can they achieve their desired goals.