The poetic glimmer of bitterness in life

I recently read the prose "waiting Room" by Wang Xiaoli, the sixth issue of Spark magazine in 2019, on the Chinese writer's website. With keen observation, exquisite expression, and thorough perception, the prose records what has been seen and heard in the waiting rooms of major hospitals in the provincial capital, and all kinds of situations in the world, causing the author's philosophical thinking on the phenomenon of birth, aging, sickness and death, which is touching and thought-provoking after reading.

The author once suffered from a serious illness and went to a number of major hospitals in the provincial capital. In the long process of diagnosis and treatment of the disease, we gradually have a clear understanding of the medical condition of each hospital, the rules of seeking medical treatment, the relationship between doctors and patients, the general knowledge of medical pathology and so on. There are also opportunities and conditions to get in touch with all kinds of patients, get along with and communicate with them, feel sorry for each other, feel the same feelings, and go straight to the heart. If you look at things from the point of view of a writer, you will be able to see things better. This unforgettable medical experience has undoubtedly accumulated rich writing materials for the writer. Reading and appreciation of American articles

The prose "waiting room" focuses on the broad masses of people at the bottom, especially the vulnerable groups such as farmers. Most of these people came from remote mountain villages and remote areas, and had to come to the provincial capital for medical treatment after a serious illness. However, the overcrowding of large hospitals, the difficulty of finding a bed, endless waiting, confusion, and financial constraints have made some patients use the waiting room as a shelter for the time being. Not only do patients suffer from illness, but their families also worry and rush to take care of patients and raise medical expenses for them.

In the face of the different plays performed every day in the waiting room, the reality triggers the author's sensitive nerve, ignites the author's creative passion, a strong sense of responsibility, and drives the author to reflect and express his desire in words. Considering that he is also ill, various situations are rapidly changing, and when he is unable to write long words, he chooses to write poems and character sketches. The author feels that the genre of poetry matches the waiting area so that it is very appropriate for me to write a few lines at any time. Of course, that may not be an authentic poem. I wrote it too hastily, and the writing was not as fastidious as usual. But it doesn't matter. At that time, I didn't write it down for others to see. I just need to write.

With a mobile phone under a note called Hammer, you can store and modify the text of the page writing tool, at any time to record what you have seen and heard. In the waiting room, the author recorded all kinds of patients: old people as thin as African refugees, children whiter than white paper, businessmen with loud voices, and women in headscarves who lost their hair after chemotherapy. The author wrote: if they inadvertently send me some special messages about life or death, some details that are both loving and filthy and miserable, as Salinger said, some are not beautiful. It can even be called desperate sorrow, all of which hovered low over the Pacific Ocean of my chest like an airstream, I hurriedly opened my hammer note.

During his visit to the doctor, the author successively wrote such poems as "the Wind is rising", "the Little Children from Ji'an County" and "for an old man in Dongxiang City". The sad pictures appeared in front of the readers one by one, which made people feel pity and shock.

The prose "the consultation room" is presented in the way of narration and discussion in the first person. After describing all kinds of distressed patients, the author sighs: God, I know you have no malice, so why don't you feel compassion? You have turned this waiting area into a veritable misery. However, instead of immersing himself in the emotion of negative suffering, the author turned his pen and wrote:

Indeed, suffering wanders bitterly, and on the unknown, they intuitively show their depth and deterrence. They capture a large number of hostages, abuse and abuse, and may not forgive him or her in the end. However, suffering also tempered the warriors and Zen, suffering on these hostages was gently transformed into no great inner peace and indifference. Into a delightful and brave glimmer of human nature. "for an old man in Dongxiang City, Jiangxi Province" is my harvest with a touch of bright color in the bitter area. The following is the original text of the author's poem:

"for an old man from Dongxiang, Jiangxi Province."

At 4:17 every Thursday morning, you take the train from Dongxiang, Jiangxi alone. It's not yet dawn when you arrive in Nanchang at 5:41. Take bus No. 2, and then turn to No. 10 at people's Square to get to the first affiliated Hospital. It was already light, the sky was shining, and the simple environmental protection bag in your hand was bulging with dry food, umbrellas, thermos cups, and medicine. after chemotherapy, you took the 13:39 bus back to Dongxiang before 3 o'clock. The old woman was slumped on the bed, and I still had time to take care of her sunset in Dongxiang. Can I see your environmental protection bag? in addition to umbrellas and thermos cups, there was also a handful of spinach bought by the vegetable market next to Dongxiang station. When you talk about all this, you are always satisfied with the perfect round-trip time of the train designed for you; satisfied with always the first to arrive at the hospital and the first to be treated; satisfied with an old woman to take care of when you go home; satisfied with the illness and not getting worse; satisfied with life, like a train, continue to run. I didn't meet you for a while. Later, I always think of you, like this, fate makes people meet by chance, but it is bound to leave a moral. I want to write something for you and for myself, but I can't write anything down. All I can say is that when Sisyphus pushes the stone up and down, he is not doing endless hard labor, as others understand. What I want to say is that I have seen a Sisypho from Dongxiang, Jiangxi Province, who gladly expressed his fate.

After reading this poem, we can't help but respect this Dongxiang old man, who is still busy planning his family life when he is terminally ill, thinking about coming back to take care of the old woman who is paralyzed in bed. This behavior of extending great love in a difficult situation is a traditional virtue of the Chinese nation, which greatly promotes the ideological realm of the works.

The author describes the scene of the consultation room, which is a phenomenon often seen by everyone who has experienced medical treatment. There must have been compassion and compassion, and maybe even some thinking, but it was a superficial lament. However, the author can dig out the shocking power and divine light.

The author further laments that life itself is more shocking than aphorisms, and life itself is more shining than the so-called golden sentences. Life puts poetry and poetry in front of us in a variety of forms and ways, even if disease, there is also a poetic density to be excavated. Even tumor cells can enjoy their rugged ugliness in order to coexist peacefully with them. This old man from Dongxiang, Jiangxi Province, when he appeared in the waiting area, he talked calmly with people, talked about his illness, and talked about his ordinary and thrilling life. It all reminds me of the immortal image of Sisyphus that Camus has loved since I was young. This old man, his deep tolerance for the suffering of life, his fearlessness of cancer, and his love for his wife as small as a handful of vegetables, can only be accurately described by the image of Sisyphus.

I recorded the fact that I met a Sisyphus in this poem. This is the harvest of bitterness in my life. And, I know, everyone in the waiting area can be a Sisyphus who wears different clothes, has different thoughts, seems small, but is extremely important in their personal lives and in their possible impact on others.

Illness makes me touch some deep aspects of life that are usually hidden but not obvious, and I also know why death and life are separated by a layer of milkskin-like film, which can be opened with chopsticks. I have seen many diseases such as tigers attacking, but they are not afraid and are always optimistic to welcome people, their strong appearance always inspires me; I also see many people who are worried by illness and thus add depression or mania to their own diseases. I have seen them step by step into the abyss and do nothing. These people are like mirrors, each of which makes my inner feelings more exciting or more sad.

In the waiting room, the author saw the patients' different cognition and attitude towards the disease, reflecting the different life patterns between people. Finally, please remember the author's prediction: I know that Sisyphus can be found everywhere.

Shanghai, November 14, 2019