Sayings:
I had a conversation with three pairs of young people who had and did not have a house.
These people are friends and colleagues to each other, but one side is a Beijinger with a house at home, and the other is an outsider who comes to Beijing to work hard.
This is the most frank conversation between them so far. Love, work and life choices, they talked to each other for the first time about the impact of the house on these life events.
The house is a long-term hot spot in public discussion. But these pairs of friends were surprised to find that, intentionally or unintentionally, they had never talked about it with each other.
And the result of the talk is: the difference is bigger than expected.
This kind of communication is different from public discussion, it is specific people talking about specific life.
I do see in it that the huge difference caused by some cruel real estate is a fact that young people in metropolises have to face and digest.
But after the chat, they told me that they were less anxious.
Most importantly, they realize that there is no need to compare each other, and such comparisons are meaningless. Some people who are born with support also have their own real troubles, while those who still insist on staying in big cities work hard but always have a reason not to leave.
An interview between young people with and without houses in Beijing
Self-report: friends of the New World
Beijing drifters without a house and the Beijing natives with 4 apartments tell you: how to balance the house and the dream?
Q: if I have a house, do I have to work hard?
Wang Wei: even if I didn't have so many houses in my family, I would still choose to live as a freelance photographer. As soon as I graduated in 2011, I figured it out. I don't go to work. I only do my own business and never serve others.
@ Zhang Xun: when Beijing drifters, I had a job and worked as a photographer in my spare time, which was tantamount to using a job to support my dream. Maybe I can do better as a photographer wholeheartedly, but I don't have the capital.
@ Wang Wei: I didn't pay much attention to Beijing drifters's life. I watched it all from TV dramas. I think so, why do you have to come to Beijing? what's so good about Beijing?
Of course, there must be some people who don't like to hear what I said. in my opinion, why do you have to go to relatively developed places? some second-and third-tier cities are also good.
If you have your own ideas, you can do it anywhere.
@ Zhang Xun: ha, I really don't have my own ideas. I can do it anywhere. But I can understand that Beijingers think so, because I don't have personal experience. It's the experience that limits your imagination. For example, art design has no chance of survival in many northern cities. In Daqing, for example, the city itself pays more attention to traditional industries and has few employment opportunities.
Soil is needed from scratch.
@ Wang Wei: if this is the case. Then Beijing drifters has to bear such a thing. If you can't bear it, don't come.
If you really want to come to Beijing to realize your dream, you have to come, and you really have to bear such pressure. Ideals are already very expensive.
In China, the greatest inequality of people is the inequality of their place of birth. It can only be changed the day after tomorrow.
@ Zhang Xun: so when I was 27 or 8 years old, my work and photography didn't improve much. My parents gave me a step down and forced me to go home.
I was almost stuck there, so I walked down that step.
When I think about it later, for young people, Beijing is a city where you can live a relatively happy life as long as you don't want to buy a house.
Q: so, is it important to have a house in Beijing?
@ Wang Wei: I was born and raised in Beijing. The family has four apartments, one set of Caoqiao is divided by my mother's unit, one set of Purple Bamboo House is divided by my father's unit, one bungalow in Deshengmen is left by my grandmother, and one in Shangzhuang is bought in the past two years.
I heard that the small bungalow in Deshengmen is going to be demolished, and the coefficient multiplied by more than ten square meters can reach tens of millions, but I have heard about it for more than ten years and there has been no movement.
@ Zhang Xun: I didn't. I can't imagine what it would be like if I had four apartments in Beijing like Wang Wei.
Poverty limits my imagination. When you are already restricted, you really can't think of the creativity and life of tuhao.
@ Wang Wei: why take the house so seriously? I do not understand, the house has been made very unhealthy these years, it turns out that these are not too expensive things. This is where Beijingers live.
Zhang Xun: however, if I had a house without a loan in Beijing now, I would move to a city in the south right away. And then do what you want to do in the southern city.
Wang Wei: my mother was so funny a while ago that she said she wanted to buy another set in Langfang, so I said, "are you sick?" Why don't you eat when you buy so many suites?
I think it's very pointless.
Beijing drifters without a house and the Beijing natives with 4 apartments tell you: how to balance the house and the dream?
Q: why don't you tell me your family background?
@ Guo Jing: there are six sets in my family, including the one I just bought on National Day.
We live in a 180-square-meter house on the North fourth Ring Road. There is also a set about the same size for rent. There are two 200-square-meter townhouses. There are still two suites in Hainan.
My father is a state-owned enterprise, and my mother has always been an accountant. When they got married, they bought a rural yard, spent about 2000 yuan, demolished it around 2000, and gave them two houses in Huilongguan. Then it was integrated, and it became what it is now.
Wang Linxia: I am not from Beijing. I bought a small apartment in Beijing last year with a monthly mortgage of less than 6000. My father is a state-owned enterprise and my mother works related to finance. There are still two apartments at home, but they are not particularly valuable.
Q: what are your criteria for choosing a mate?
@ Guo Jing: I just broke up. He is a foreigner with a good salary of 20,000 to 30,000 a month. But he still thought that girls like me were too expensive. He said that he wanted to give me a better life, and there was too much pressure.
In fact, mine is really not expensive at all. I even bring my own RV. Where is it expensive? I don't care about the house. I want to find love.
@ Wang Linxia: when I was a child, I talked about a lot of love with enough water to drink. I found that this matter is not work, love is not the enemy of reality. I have several apartments. If I were like that, I would like to find love instead of bread.
@ Guo Jing: all the Beijing boyfriends I talked about before have no houses in Beijing. This is really understandable. After all, houses in Beijing are so expensive that not everyone can afford them.
I think I'd be happy to provide a place for someone I love.
@ Wang Linxia: what I ask of my partner: at least it should be similar to my family, not worse. Otherwise, if you live in Beijing in the future, how to raise the children and the elderly. The cost of living is too high.
@ Guo Jing: the recent blind dates are so strange that they all want to use me as a meal ticket. It's weird that I pay for a blind date for dinner.
@ Wang Linxia: I'm in a strange state, too. I've always been looking for someone who is neck and neck. I'm always looking for someone with poor economic conditions.
This in itself is very contradictory.
Q: what do you two think of each other?
@ Guo Jing: Beijing drifters around me are all colleagues. At other times, I don't have much chance to get in touch with Beijing drifters. They look like me. They all take the shuttle bus to work and eat in the canteen.
@ Wang Linxia: I have some native friends who have houses in Beijing. This is their hometown, isn't it normal to live comfortably here? I always say that Beijing should also be returned to Beijingers.
If you can find such a satisfactory job when you go back, who doesn't want to go home?
Guo Jing: my colleague Beijing drifters does not have a loan to buy a house at present, and there are a lot of people renting a house. And I've been working for four or five years, and I'm still sharing. I'm still sharing a rent when I'm married.
I mainly think that sharing is quite private. They will say that there are some inconveniences in life, such as getting up in the morning and having to wait in line because the bathroom is not enough.
@ Wang Linxia:
In fact, most Beijingers do not understand the hard work of outsiders. For example, when I complain to my best friend in Beijing about my work, she will persuade me to resign first and take a rest for three or five months.
I do need a break, but I need to pay off my mortgage even more.
@ Guo Jing: but sharing looks very happy. They will cook and eat together with many friends in the evening, a bit like when I was studying abroad. They are all colleagues. They can get off work together. Some colleagues bought a car and drove a group of people home together. I feel like I have a collective life.
@ Wang Linxia: you see, you can only see Beijing drifters's fun of renting a house. Can this be the same as studying abroad? At that time, all you had to do was to study, ah, tuition and living expenses were all given to you.
Behind the current sharing, there are still a lot of problems, such as getting married, having children and providing for the aged. People who share a rent because they have no money will never have the pleasure of every family.
@ Guo Jing: you should struggle when you are young. I think they will live alone after five years. Whether it's public rental housing or buying small property rights or more remote houses. On the contrary, sharing will become a good struggle memory. I really don't feel bad.
@ Wang Linxia: now that I have bought a house, the psychological pressure is even greater. Probably because of a sense of responsibility, I began to think about getting married, having children and providing for my parents. There are fewer taxis and fewer meals out.
My friends in Beijing don't quite understand, because they can live ideally and optimistically because they have a house and no loan.
I am often asked to travel abroad together, and I want to go, too, but first I have to think about how to live in this strange city.
Beijing drifters without a house and the Beijing natives with 4 apartments tell you: how to balance the house and the dream?
Q: tell me your family background.
@ Mandy: Beijing drifters has rented a house for three years, moved four times, and now lives in a basement and a half. No house, no car.
My boyfriend, doctor, didn't graduate and didn't get paid. I had saved some money, but there was something wrong with my family last year. I gave 50,000 yuan to my mother for emergency. I can't imagine buying a house. The deposit is only 1/10 of the down payment.
@ Little magic fairy: our family has three suites in Beijing. Two old houses are divided by parents' units, and one was bought in 2003.
At first, it was all three or four thousand, but now it has risen to about ten or twenty thousand.
@ Mandy: what? Ten or twenty thousand? You don't know the house prices in Beijing?
@ Little magic fairy: I really don't know. I'll check it out.
Beijing drifters without a house and the Beijing natives with 4 apartments tell you: how to balance the house and the dream?
Q: where is the money mainly spent?
@ Little devil fairy: travel. I go to Japan as soon as I have a holiday. I have gone to Japan three or four times in the last year, about 20,000 at a time, excluding air tickets and hotels.
@ Mandy: the monthly rent is 2800, and the cost of living is about 3500. I often overspend, so I can't help eating out. This year, I have reined in a little bit. I don't go out to eat and watch movies. I buy food and cook on weekends and watch movies on my computer.
The last trip was two years ago. The first time I changed jobs, I took a week off and went to Dalian, which cost less than 2000.
@ Little magic fairy: my husband and I really can't help it. This year we both want to be independent and save our own money, but we still can't help but want to travel. The work is so tiring that the long holiday can't be wasted.
@ Mandy: actually, I can travel, take a vacation, and I won't be unable to survive, but if I don't have enough savings, I will be anxious. My boyfriend said that my stress led to a problem with my mentality and my low sense of happiness in life.
Q: how much work pressure can you accept?
@ Little magic fairy: the work is intense and stressful. I am really unhappy. Why do you make me work overtime so late as a Beijinger?
I don't want to be tired, or I can work overtime, but there must be a limit. I don't want to work overtime on holidays either.
Mandy: it's all normal for me. I've been doing this for two years.
@ Little magic fairy: yes, I think you work too hard, really too hard.
At that time, only XX and I were from Beijing, and we were the first to resign. Maybe it's because we have backers at home that we dare not to work so hard.
You are really working hard. There will be physical problems, psychological pressure and unhappiness. You may just complain a few words and get up the next day to continue.
If I have insomnia and a bad mood, I may not be able to stand it for two or three days and resign immediately. I won't tell my boss that you'll postpone it for another month. I won't. I'll go right away.
Q: can you quit naked?
@ Little devil fairy: yes. Almost every job I do is naked. After resigning naked for the first time, I took a two-month break. At that time, I calculated that about seven or eight thousand in the card would be enough for me to live.
At that time, my boyfriend urged me to look for a job every day, but he would not die if he was unemployed for a few months.
@ Mandy: I dare not. When I was under the greatest stress, I collapsed so much that I dared not resign naked. How can I pay next month's rent if I quit? No sense of security.
I dare not play with 30,000 or 40,000 yuan on my card now.
I said to myself, bear with it, hold on for a little longer, it may stand out.
@ Little magic fairy: I have a friend who is very unhappy at work and can't be happy even if he gives money. It's sick. I said, why didn't you quit? Don't you have any savings? She said there was, like, 50,000 or 60,000. I said, then why are you afraid to quit? She said she was anxious.
Oh, my God, I really don't understand. There are 50,000 or 60,000 yuan on the card. I would just throw a resignation letter in the boss's face and go.
Q: can you get out of poverty by falling in love with Beijingers and getting married?
@ Little magic fairy: if you were still single, would you want to find a Beijinger?
@ Mandy: ha had an affair with a Beijing boy before. At that time, I liked that he was talented and his family was not a few apartments. As a result, he turned me down on the grounds that his family did not agree.
If a person judges whether or not to be together by your place of birth, why talk about it?
@ Little magic fairy: my husband is a foreigner. Beijing drifters hasn't bought a house for ten years. After he was with me, a friend asked, "aren't your parents against you?" I said I had no objection. He said that your parents are really open-minded.
My previous boyfriend was a rich second generation, who was spoiled by his family from childhood to maturity. We broke up as soon as I went abroad.
Q: what do you think of each other's lives?
@ Little magic fairy: my parents are all from state-owned enterprises, and their job is to perform. They don't even care about sitting in class. They don't have to worry about income or family costs.
I grew up in this state. I have no idea. So I used to think that work is just pocket money, which is just for play.
Mandy: one of my classmates is from Beijing. There are not many rooms, but life is very leisurely. Quit your job if you don't like it.
He didn't work for a while. He didn't know what he was doing. He couldn't understand why he was so calm.
I'm a little envious. He's a little more comfortable. It doesn't matter if he doesn't make much money. I can't do it. I don't have the capital.
But even if I have a house, I will not easily leave a job, no job is absolutely ideal. Even in your favorite job, there are a lot of things to put up with.
And, although I envy, but think about it, I didn't come to Beijing for the house.
Think after reading:
What are you fighting for?
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