People must respect themselves, and future generations will respect them; people will insult themselves, and future generations will insult them. Only when you value yourself first will others respect you. No one will regard a person who wants to pay for a meal as a true friend.
Don't make yourself worth only one meal.
-1-
I blocked a classmate I had known for many years.
Some time ago, my classmate Xiao Yang suddenly contacted me and said that he had come to Beijing to develop. He asked me if there were any other students in Beijing. He wanted to invite everyone to dinner.
Thinking that my classmates had not been together for a long time, I enthusiastically contacted everywhere and pulled a party group.
On the day of dinner, Xiao Yang was dressed in a suit and his face was glowing. With a big wave of his hand, he said, "Let's take it easy and put it on my account!"
During the dinner, while making a toast one by one, he inquired about everyone's situation and asked for all kinds of care and help.
Having enough to drink and eat, it was time to go, so Xiao Yang asked the waiter to pay the bill. As he looked at the bill, Xiao Yang's face sank. Why is your food so expensive? He said angrily to the waiter.
The waiter is speechless: our food here is always at this price!
The atmosphere was suddenly awkward. Everyone is looking at each other, Xiao Chen stood up to the rescue: today we rarely get together, or AA!
Xiao Yang like grasping straws, hurriedly accompanied and laughed and said, "how can I be ashamed of this?"
Before she lost her voice, a female classmate sneered and said, didn't you tell us to order casually? We didn't order any expensive food either, aren't you being so rude?
In the end, it was Xiao Chen who went out to settle the bill and everyone broke up.
When I went back in the evening, the more I thought about it, the more wrong it became, so I asked Xiao Yang on Wechat: wasn't it supposed to be your treat today? It's not easy for you to get everyone together, aren't you? How can I deal with everyone in the future?
Unexpectedly, Xiao Yang got angry and sent a long list of voice messages:
Don't you just have a meal? Isn't it the same who pays? I just came to Beijing and I don't have much money on hand. How can I have so much spare money for others to eat and drink? Besides, the money is all made by Xiao Chen, so if you can do it, you can settle the bill. Or cut the crap!
I have never seen such a touching logic: when I said it was a treat and then backed out, it was not only unreasonable, but also a backlash.
He wants to use his classmate relationship to pave the way for himself, but he is reluctant to invest money for a meal. He wants to take advantage of others, but he doesn't know what mutual benefit is.
I didn't bother to argue with him. I just invited him out of the party and blocked him.
-2-
My friend Lin Lin is also very upset recently.
Just entered the new company, there is a good relationship with her colleagues often partner with her to order takeout, at first remember to give money, later do not know what reason, slowly do not give.
At first, Lin Lin thought she had forgotten and felt that it was only about 20 yuan at a time, so she was embarrassed to ask for it. But then more times, Lin Lin got a little upset.
Once when the colleague asked her to order takeout again, Lin Lin said that she had already ordered it and let her solve it on her own.
As a result, the colleague left a sentence: you are too unsatisfactory! If you don't want to have dinner with me, just say so!
From then on, that colleague never had dinner with Lin Lin again. Not only in the unit activities do not call Lin Lin, but also deliberately told others that Lin Lin is calculating and fussy.
As a result, the way other colleagues looked at Lin Lin changed and ignored her.
Lin Lin felt isolated. She asked me: did I do something wrong? I offended my colleagues for a little meal money, and now I'm so embarrassed to go to work every day.
I said: in fact, you should have let her check out in the first place. Otherwise, after a long time, it will become a habit for her to take advantage of you. Once she can't continue to take advantage of you, she will become angry.
For such a greedy person, what's the use of having a good relationship?
Your tolerance will only become their shameless capital. They make friends with you just to take advantage of you, not really treat you as a friend.
-3-
Do you have such friends? Rush to the front when eating and hide at the back when checking out.
They seem to be calculating and can always have enough to eat and drink without spending a penny.
They are eloquent and righteous. For example, I do not have my wallet, you should treat; my salary is not high, you should treat; I did you a favor, you should treat
A person who is greedy for bargains can always think of a hundred reasons to let others treat. Regardless of whether these reasons are reasonable, it is too cheap to make an effort to prove that you are worth a meal.
They pretended to be stupid, played tricks, and could tear their faces. They take advantage of their friends under the guise of their friends, making them miserable. Once their friends refuse to give in, they will bite back and shout abuse.
But even if these people take more small advantages, what can they do? No one's success is piled up by petty bargains.
Although Xiao Yang saved money for a meal, he made a very bad impression on many students. When he asked everyone for help again, almost no one would listen to him.
It is Xiao Chen, although usually silent, but at a critical moment willing to come forward, so that the students are impressed. Everyone has the right resources on hand and is happy to introduce them to him.
As an old saying goes: when wealth is scattered, people gather, wealth is scattered.
You cling to the petty profits in front of you, but what you lose is the priceless heart. Others will let you take advantage of once or twice, but it is impossible for you to take advantage of it for a lifetime.
No one will regard a person who wants to pay for a meal as a true friend.
-4-
Aunt Zhao in A Dream of Red Mansions did not hesitate to embarrass her daughter in public in order to fight for 20 taels of silver. As a result, he didn't get the money, broke his daughter's heart, and finally became a street rat shouted by everyone.
This confirms the saying: people must respect themselves, and future generations will respect them; people will insult themselves, and future generations will insult them.
Only when you value yourself first will others respect you.
People who love petty gains seem to love themselves very much, but actually regard themselves as more contemptible than anyone else. A little profit can make them ignore their image, make them ugly, and let others look down upon them.
Greed for petty gain can also be addictive, and eventually become accustomed to it. Once you can't get what you want, you immediately turn your face, do not hesitate to spread rumors and smear, hurting yourself as well as others.
The love of petty gain is not only a lack of self-respect, but also a sign of bad character.
Not only that, people who are greedy for petty gains often lack a big pattern. They only focus on the present and do not look at the future. as a result, the road becomes narrower and narrower, with fewer friends and fewer opportunities.
No one is a fool, and no one is a born philanthropist. Everyone can see your little moves clearly and have a scale in their hearts.
You think you have both sides, but you are besieged on all sides.
Only by jumping out of the strange circle of greed for petty bargains can we live out our own value and get more respect, better opportunities and a broader future.
Master Hongyi has a saying: the gentleman is willing to suffer losses, the villain is so cheap.
The cost of a meal may seem trivial, but it can reflect your character and pattern. Never let the bargain trap yourself, never let yourself be worth only one meal.
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