What is your pain?

What is your pain?

(Li Yulong / tr. by Phil Newell)

Those who become friends, put aside certain interests, mostly because they share the same interests and hobbies. I have no interest entanglement with W, but we have a lot in common in our interests. For example, we don't smoke, we don't gamble on drugs, we both like quiet, we both love to drink, and what's more, we all love to get drunk.

Frankly speaking, if we hadn't worked in the same company, I'm sure we would have lost touch a long time ago. Because he never took the initiative, even if he was kind enough to ask him out, he would always refuse for no reason: no!

No, no. Put up with him once, put up with him twice, and do you still bear it? I'm not asking him for anything! Therefore, the friends around him backed down one by one. I believe that this can not be blamed on others, he is really unbearable to many people, but I can put up with him, L can also put up with him, not because he did not see his shortcomings, but because he found that he has a more valuable side of human nature, this side is far more prominent than his shortcomings.

He doesn't like to talk and doesn't say hello to anyone. He often has ulcers in his mouth without saying a word. I remember a colleague once laughed at him: you just talk too little! The air in the mouth is not ventilated. When he drinks, he has a habit of doing it as soon as others touch glasses with him, and drink with his head down, never paying attention to whether he has finished the wine in other people's glasses. He mostly lives alone. When he gets home from work, he first turns on the TV and turns it up. Then he begins to concentrate on surfing the Internet and asks him who to turn on the TV for. He says he wants to add some popularity. In fact, there are not many people in this world who really want to be alone.

At the beginning of L's business, he took out all his savings without worry. He was not betting on him to win, but told L with action: you dare to do it, I support you. L financing needs, he also mortgaged his own property. It is not easy to have a good house in Guangzhou, which is his hard work for many years, but he doesn't seem to think of it. In fact, he and L do not see each other very often, and they do not have much to say, just because L is his good friend and brother. When something happened to his good brother, he was duty-bound to look back. Sometimes I open my mouth to him when I am in urgent need, which is easier than inviting him to dinner. As long as he has it, he never hesitates. In fact, he is not richer than me and L, but he does not have any investment ideas, with income will only accumulate. As far as this point is concerned, L and I have taken advantage, so we have to tolerate him everywhere.

There is another reason why we tolerate him: his situation is not very good, or even very bad. He was divorced, and until now it is not satisfactory. His father is hemiplegic, and his brother, who has advanced oral cancer, has undergone a long period of chemotherapy, but now basically gives up. He is in a bad mood, some emotions, some autistic, L and I can understand. If this happens to other people, he may grieve all day long, but he doesn't say a word, and all the bitterness is swallowed by himself.

On the first rest day at work 20 years later, L and I asked him to play ball at the clubhouse. In the evening, the three of us had dinner together, and every time we ate, we were used to having a few drinks. This time he drank too much, or because our topic touched his emotional line of defense and made him cry.

He told us that the only mainstay in the family now is his mother, who is also oral cancer! The doctor said the disease was hereditary, and his own oral ulcers were no less severe than those of his mother and brother. His family asked him to check, but he firmly refused to go, saying he didn't want to know the result! Speaking of which, the wine table quieted down, everyone was silent for a long time, L and I were filled with tears.

He very much wanted to go home and accompany them and fulfill his responsibility of being a son and a younger brother, but he had to be supported by him financially, so he had to stick to his work, save food and expenses, and use his salary to buy more time for the lives of his relatives.

In fact, he knew for a long time that even in front of his best friend, he didn't want to mention too much about him and his mother. He didn't want to put on a painful or pitiful appearance in front of others. He didn't want others to share his pain and grief. Some people who don't know him will say that he is autistic and indifferent. If there are so many difficulties on his back, how many people can be as strong as him!

On the way back, my tears came out again! As his good friends and brothers, what can we do for him? Or there's nothing you can do. However, he used a cruel fact to develop a yardstick for us to measure happiness, so that we can instantly understand that even if we are unhappy in one way or another, compared with him, our pain is nothing! Shouldn't we live a life of contentment and gratitude?