Lacan said that people who get what they want will never be happy, and the most humane thing is to try to live in your thoughts and ideals, and not to measure your life by how many desires you achieve. This is not without truth, the realization of desire will not bring true happiness, because in the final analysis, the human psychological mechanism is not designed for the pursuit of happiness.
Happiness is a complete, complete state. Our brains are born with the simplest function of seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages, and avoidance itself is a kind of division, and we believe that there is happiness once and for all in front of the beacon of desire. When we try our best to achieve it, desire does not bring us lasting happiness as it promised. Usually, we quickly adapt to happiness, boredom, and begin to look for new changes. We are always looking for changes, changing bad habits, changing our mode of thinking, and breaking away from our destiny. when all the changes finally happen through constant efforts, a very small thing may bring you back to the confused state you used to be. these changes seem to have never happened. This is also the confusion faced by many consultants.
People are like this, in the pursuit of life at the same time also ask for death, under the banner of the pursuit of happiness, but farther and farther away from happiness. What on earth is preventing us from being happy? I think besides the psychological mechanism mentioned above, it is also because of the death instinct.
Freud believes that there is an instinct for destruction and aggression in everyone, that is, the death instinct. This impulse is directed at ourselves. People try to die, because there is real peace there. That's where all tensions and struggles can be relieved. Life evolved from inorganic matter, and man came from the dark, warm and calm womb. The realm of sleep and death is similar to the conditions where people come from, so once life begins, a tendency to return to the inorganic state arises, which is the source of the death instinct. The death instinct is a deep aggressiveness, attacking others as well as yourself. We become morbid only when the target is pointed at us.
Indeed, many people who have been deeply depressed have heard the deep cry from the bottom of their hearts that will destroy the world. There is also a lot of subconscious that is tearing our lives apart. I once believed that the world was so incomplete, and I would like to live well with it. I did live a good life with this belief, but slowly things seemed to have changed, and I began to deliberately find myself incomplete. I deliberately made myself look no longer beautiful and abominable. It was at that moment that I realized that I had fallen into another dilemma from the stage of accepting imperfections: pursuing imperfections too much! Did you see that? People are like this, when we seem to be approaching the state of Concorde, close to the so-called happiness, the inborn desire for death will begin to haunt, let happiness continue to stay away. Happiness, unhappiness, the human mind and the state of life will always vacillate between these poles.
And all this is simply because we are pursuing, we want to be rather than exist. A friend once said to me: since I gave up looking, I found everything I was looking for. I think this is the truth of happiness. Since I gave up happiness, I seem to have a feeling of happiness!
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