Oprah once said: all that time alone determines who we become. It's loneliness that makes you stand out. Those who are talented and successful are those who enjoy and make use of loneliness. They accumulate energy when they are lonely so that they can explode and bloom when they are not alone. Those who are afraid of loneliness and look for a sense of existence in dinner tables, wine tables, nightclubs and karaoke halls will certainly be drowned in the masses.
Descartes said: self-reflection is the source of all thoughts, and people produce wisdom in the process of thinking about themselves rather than others. So, we need to be alone. The loneliness of introspection trumps all encouragement.
Schopenhauer also said: only when a person is alone, can he be himself completely. Whoever does not like to be alone, he does not love freedom, for only when he is alone is he free. Loneliness is a dialogue with one's own heart, which needs a strong heart to support.
Compared with Westerners, Chinese people are more afraid of loneliness, afraid of loneliness, afraid of getting along with themselves. Do not know how to enjoy a person's time; care too much about other people's opinions, always want to find their own sense of existence from other eyes. In order not to be labeled as a loner, and deliberately or stubbornly participate in some social activities with little practical value.
Once upon a time, gregariousness has become the mainstream trend of thought in society, and it is an excellent quality that a person should have in the collective. Otherwise, you can easily be warned by people around you that if you don't fit in, you won't be able to gain a foothold in society. Think what a terrible thing it is to be unsociable. People who are unsociable are also criticized as having low EQ, being excluded and unable to integrate into any circle. Excessive entertainment, fans, and art examination fever cater to the impetuous mentality of some gregarious people.
Zhou Guoping wrote in the article "solitude is also an ability." People often regard communication as a kind of ability, but ignore that being alone is also a kind of ability, and in a sense it is more important than communication. On the other hand, poor communication is a pity, but a life without solitude is a disaster.
True peace is not to avoid the hustle and bustle of cars and horses, but to build hedges and plant chrysanthemums in your heart. To grow up is to learn to get along with loneliness first. It is loneliness that distinguishes us from others. Writers such as Shen Congwen, Guo Moruo and Yu Dafu are all specialized in a certain area and are not good at dealing with people.
Among well-known entrepreneurs, Bill Gates and Buffett are introverted from childhood and like to be alone. When Jobs was a teenager, he always contradicted his teacher and was kicked out of the classroom. He was withdrawn, had no friends, and was often regarded as a monster. Jack Ma thought twice about other people's words since he was a child, and even his mother's words may be ignored.
For the strong, because they are excellent, they are confident and do not have to dispel their fears by gregariousness. As Hu Shi said: Lions and tigers are always solitary, and only foxes and dogs are in groups.
As a matter of fact, many giants with great achievements, such as Newton, Einstein, Schopenhauer and Nietzsche, are a little out of place and out of place in the world they live in. Schopenhauer even claimed that people's gregariousness is probably in direct proportion to his lack of knowledge and vulgarity.
Recently, a top Chinese female scientist in the world has entered the eyes of the people. Standing at the top of the artificial intelligence world is a former cleaner and laundry girl, but today she is a tenured professor at Stanford University and a super idol worshipped by all Americans. She is one of the top ten scientists in the world and a legendary woman in the field of artificial intelligence. More than 100 academic papers have been published in top computer journals! She is Li Feifei, the director of Stanford's artificial intelligence lab.
For decades, I spent a lot of time in the laboratory, and the days in the lab were boring and lonely. When she comes to China to give a speech, she always puts a sentence in front of her: I don't know AlphaGo, I haven't chased "Westworld", nor have I read "out of Control." she said that since she became an academic, she didn't pay much attention to hot spots. After she made her goals clear, she stared at them, never thinking about tuyere and hot spots.
Whether it is the "Chinese Poetry Conference" or "the Reader", Dong Qing at the scene, frowning and smiling, word by word, exudes charm! So, do you know where Dong Qing's amazing talent comes from? It has a lot to do with her love of reading. Reading can maintain the mentality of an attractive woman! To this day, Dong Qing is still grateful for the happiness of her growth brought by reading. Life is getting busier and busier, she still guarantees an hour of reading time every day and enjoys precious alone time. She said:
Reading an hour before going to bed every day has become a habit of mine. There is no TV, no cell phone, no electronics in my bedroom. I read quietly for a while, and then I go to bed.
Dong Qing's habit of reading was developed from an early age. In order to cultivate her literary literacy, her father asked her to copy idioms and recite ancient poems every day. In middle school, my mother, who majored in science, made a book list for Dong Qing every winter and summer vacation. Dong Qing read through a world famous book in three or five days, and sometimes Dong Qing read too fast, and her skeptical mother would check it out to find out a chapter in the masterpiece and let Dong Qing list the relationships among the characters. Dong Qing, who is good at forcible memorization, always has a quick answer.
Just imagine such an excellent group of people, if they succumb to inner compromise, succumb to the mainstream trend of thought, and do insincere things, will they still be so successful? People who are not firm in their hearts, following the mainstream trend, are often likely to achieve temporary success, but they still have to go into decline and never recover. And those who always adhere to their own point of view, regardless of indifference, or even disdain to ridicule and criticize people, can survive in the times and stand erect in people's hearts.
Are you good enough? Please ask yourself first: are you lonely enough? We run non-stop every day, but forget to take the time to digest and absorb. Loneliness is the best digestive tool in the world, so nothing can nourish a person more than loneliness. He who can be alone can have everything in me.