Festinger says in conflict, decision-making and imbalance: 10% of life is made up of what happens to you, while the other 90% is determined by how you react to what happens.
Walking with friends at night, at the crossroads, the crowd was congested, as if there was an argument, and we heard a man complain loudly: that's what I want to fight for.
What an unfamiliar sentence.
If your girlfriend is whistled, you will be unmanly if you don't go up against him.
You deserve it if you don't throw a stone and curse when you get splashed on your bike by a big car.
If you are provoked, you should take revenge immediately. Why are you unwilling to burn repeatedly at the bottom of your heart, and it is difficult to relieve your hatred?
Because people live a face, a tree live a skin, fight is a breath.
But when you fight for anger all your life, you find that the more angry you are, the more angry you are, and the more difficult it is to forget.
And the greatest absurdity of people is to cling to bad things.
It makes me sad, and you can't have a good time.
I like a passage in the movie Wild Story very much.
A man was driving a limousine on the road, and in front of him was a country bumpkin who deliberately changed paths to block his way.
Hated and angry, he stepped on the gas, overtook, and opened the window to greet the strong man's family in one fell swoop.
Turn up the volume, the car is gone, when the man behind is angry and can not catch up, too cool.
As a result, the limousine man's car broke down on the road, and the strong man who chased all the way caught a good opportunity. when he got out of the car, he began to attack the limousine man's car and smash his glass.
The two men entangled back and forth, fighting and fighting in the car. Finally detonated the car's fuel tank, and by the time the police came, there were only two scorched bodies left.
How much hatred do you say, how much hate? The origin is the smallest way to get out of the way. If they all know such an ending, will they haggle over the beginning? Absolutely not.
But when emotions come, who will think of the consequences, or even hold the idea of burning jade and stones and dying together:
Make me sad? Okay, you're ruthless. I'm in a bad mood. No one can have a good time.
One of the issues in "Qifa Shuo" is about whether Keyboard Man is a knight-errant. Chen Ming shares one of his true stories as a negative party.
I thought of myself as a person of high self-cultivation and extreme restraint, until I once po a picture of my daughter on Weibo, a stranger, firing a map cannon and a gene cannon.
When I was talking about my daughter, I subconsciously wanted to say what you said. In the next sentence, I would like to scold it back in a more intense language. As a result, my wife advised me that when you said it, what was the difference between him and him?
Yes, who hasn't been angry yet, but after all, a bad mood is not a good thing for Qiongyao in return for peaches and plums.
You are bitter about it, you are in hot pursuit, you want to be happy for a moment, but you never know what kind of disaster is behind this short-lived happiness.
After hating for so many years, only the hater suffers.
Nietzsche said in "the other side of good and Evil": if you struggle with an evil dragon for too long, you will become an evil dragon. Gaze into the abyss for too long, and the abyss will return to gaze.
There are many people who have hated and are depressed, but when you are too immersed in some bad experience, it is extremely difficult to get rid of the negative entanglement.
Some time ago, there was a piece of news that made people sad:
After 14 years of divorce from her ex-husband, an eldest sister still couldn't see him well and sent a wreath of bad luck to curse him on his wedding day.
Sister Liu said that when the two were good, her ex-husband promised not to find anyone else even after they were separated.
He broke his promise and wanted to get back at him. Sister Liu printed her ex-husband's wedding photos and many wreath urns on the Internet and sent them on her wedding day.
As a result, when the ex-husband saw the photo, in a fit of anger, he blocked his ex-wife's way home from work and beat Sister Liu to stay in the hospital for 16 days.
14 years? One little thing lasted for 14 years. What is it? Looking forward to the ex-husband's life is getting worse and worse, staring at his life for fear of getting a little better.
What did she get? My ex-husband got married and stayed in the hospital for 16 days.
Do you think her hatred is gone? I even think that Sister Liu's hatred will last for the next 14 years or more.
But what's the use of hating? Isn't he happy? Or if he is unhappy, will you be happy?
Every unhappy person has this kind of monologue and entanglement at the bottom of his heart:
I hate it. I can't let it go. I can't get rid of it. I have to do something.
What did you do? You hurt yourself. What is the result of your revenge? for the person you hate, you get to know yourself that he may not care about at the bottom of his heart.
Ye Mi said in "growing up like slough":
There are many things in life that have to be done, but if you have to do it reluctantly, it is destruction.
When hatred cannot be dispelled, when something must be done, it is never a counterattack.
Like the saying: the opposite of love is not unlove, but indifference.
Neglect is the greatest revenge on a person, he is ready to fight with you, you stand up and pat your ass, chic turn around, is the deadliest blow to him.
To live a wonderful life and live a better life without him is the real victory. why punish yourself with other people's mistakes?
Don't struggle with bad people, don't struggle with bad things.
Like a sentence very much: do not struggle with bad people, do not entangle when you encounter broken things.
Because bad people are always bad, and entanglement is bad for nine out of ten.
My good friend Xu Dawei once laughed with me about his absurd experience in the amusement park.
He described a project in which there was a long queue. An aunt cut in line, and the two girls who cut in line argued with her. He could not help but help. As a result, the aunt reprimanded him for taking a fancy to the beauty of other girls.
The aunt said, "you boy, you've peeked at that girl many times. Do you think I didn't see it?"
When I asked later, he just smiled:
I couldn't afford to fight, and then I didn't speak. If you think about it, if I said I didn't see it, she would definitely insist that you saw it, and you swallowed.
What do you say, you say the next sentence, she always has ten sentences waiting for you, no head.
He said that the moment the entanglement began, both sides were doomed to lose.
If it's rotten, that's it.
Because you are much more likely to be affected by bad things than you are to change her.
People who are really good give up their emotions a long time ago.
Kazuo Inamori once said: success does not need senseless emotions.
Do not entangle, do not hate does not mean forgiveness, but time is too expensive, do not want to waste any point on people who are not worth it.
Yang Mi once said that she is a person who is very hard on herself, and the first thing that is ruthless is emotion.
She said: just fight with yourself and give orders to yourself. Once, something made me very angry. I said to myself, I have 24 hours to give you, you have to keep it down. On this day, do nothing and let yourself go.
Why? Because there's a lot of work to move forward, too many scenes to shoot, so much to do, you don't have time to collapse.
People who are really good give up their emotions a long time ago.
Think of a conversation I came across by accident:
Are you sad?
I was so sad that I was about to die.
You don't look like it?
Do you have to cry bitterly here?
When you grow up, you will gradually find that too many tears in life have dirty sorrow, and it is useless to fight back against anger and collapse, so you might as well give up your emotions, let go of your hatred and start from scratch.
Finally, I would like to give you a sentence from Xi Murong:
Setbacks will come, will pass, tears will flow down, will also be put away. Nothing can discourage me, because I have a long life.
Time is expensive, so don't waste it on bad people.