Recently, the term midlife crisis has been particularly popular.
Perhaps, people to a certain point, will fall into a dilemma, loss of fun at work, life full of grumbles.
Zhang ailing describes this state as: as soon as you open your eyes, you are surrounded by people who depend on him, but there is no one he can rely on.
But in fact, a person can also live into a team, because their own value is thousands of troops.
I am such a person. I have been engaged in management work for more than ten years. I have been editor-in-chief of a publishing company, an executive of a listed company and a director of an investment company.
At the same time, I am also the mother of a five-year-old boy. She resigned and created the first self-media Momself in China that focused on her mother's self-growth.
In recent years, I have often been asked these questions. Why do you have the energy to do so many things? How do you balance your family career? Are you born with unlimited energy and can do more than others?
Actually, it's just the opposite.
Ten years ago, when I first entered the workplace, I was not talented, had no resources, lacked background, and was surrounded by experienced and clever colleagues.
I often don't know where to start with the work told by my boss. It is common for me to be scolded by my boss. In the face of strong clients, I can't even say a complete sentence clearly.
Busy every day from morning till night, but always feel pushed by things, no sense of control, self-doubt, feel that they are too weak, will never rise in the workplace.
Fortunately, because of my work, I have been in contact with all kinds of front-line entrepreneurs all the year round, and from them, I have come to realize that people who look good have an obvious trait, and they often feel that they are not strong enough.
It is precisely that they realize that they are not strong enough, so they are good at managing people and making the people around them easy to use.
And it is because I have mastered the tricks that I can go from being an ordinary rookie in the workplace to leading my own team, doing a lot of things I want to do, while still maintaining my own pace and perceiving the beauty of life.
Today, I will share this trick with you. May everyone live the life they want.
I just don't have enough energy.
So it has to be used in the right place.
I have brought a lot of newcomers, and young people who are new to the workplace often have a problem: they are always timid and can't let go.
For example, do not dare to speak at a meeting, dare not conflict with others, ah, can not express themselves in front of the boss.
The one who impressed me most was a girl named Linda. Although she was young, she had a strong learning ability. I intend to give her a promotion in a short time, so that she has a greater opportunity to exercise.
But my boss has no special impression of her, and even thinks she is stupid. This makes me feel very strange, in a weekly meeting, I found the problem.
At that time, she made a presentation to the big boss with a plan that she had been doing for a long time. After speaking for a minute, he was interrupted by the boss:
Your plan is not well thought out. Here, here and here, there are several places that are unreliable. Are you doing it with your heart or not?
Linda was confused on the spot, blushed and stammered: in fact, I, she wanted to say through what channels, which industry reports she found as a reference, and what methods she used to correct them. But I couldn't say anything.
After the meeting ended hastily, the state of Linda suddenly hit rock bottom. I dared not talk to the boss for a long time. The boss was so angry last time. He must have been very dissatisfied with me. I guess he regretted bringing me in, right? With so many colleagues present, they probably thought I was stupid and held the team back.
When she complained to me about this, I suddenly realized why she couldn't express herself freely in public or in front of her boss.
So I asked her a question: tell me, who is not satisfied with the plan?
She was stupefied for a moment and said the boss.
The boss is not satisfied with your plan and the boss is very disappointed.
Right.
OK, this matter is left to the boss to solve, let's talk about you, what is your main task?
She opened her eyes wide: what do you mean by leaving it to the boss?
Because you have more important tasks, what is your mission?
She seems to understand a little: my task is to tell the plan?
Yes, the boss's anger is the boss's business, and he is responsible for it. What you should do is to use your precious energy to make your plan clear on the most important thing.
We often encounter such a situation in our life, because we feel the dissatisfaction of others and feel guilty: I caused him to be unhappy, and it's all my fault.
Once we have this idea, our most precious energy is spent on self-negation, and our energy is limited, not on business.
After that conversation, Linda finally realized what his problem was and gradually learned to shift his energy away from others and concentrate on his own business.
Now, she is a senior manager on her own.
Because I know my weakness.
To make full use of every little bit of power.
Share another example.
At girlfriends' parties, I often hear complaints like this:
I take care of my baby at home. I have no economic status. I have to look at my husband's face all day.
My mother-in-law is so weird. I've had enough.
Unfortunately, how could there be such a boss?
How can there be such tricky customers in the world? they give me problems every day.
At this time, I would ask: it is really bad, but, such a bad husband, such a bad boss, then why do you allow him to do this to you?
Hearing this question, the other party will generally be stupefied for a moment, and then say helplessly: "others have money, others have power, what can I do?"
It seems that the power is in the hands of others, but is that really the case?
When I was the editor-in-chief of Blue Lion Publishing Company, every time the team did event planning, I needed to send it to Wu Xiaobo, the boss at that time, for review. But often can not get a reply in time, he is really too busy.
So often at the last minute, the colleagues in charge of the activities received a lot of amendments, and then worked overtime to revise them, but because there was no time to affect the effectiveness of the activities, they were scolded by the boss.
Once, my colleague Wei Wei began to cry in the office. I was really aggrieved to explode. I had already sent a plan, three reminders and four please, but he was the boss. He didn't reply in time. What can I do?
I smiled and said to Wei Wei, I have a way, only one sentence, can let the boss reply in time every time, never dare to procrastinate.
Viv wiped away her tears and looked at me with a look of disbelief.
The boss almost always responds to my plan in time, because I write one more sentence every time:
Mr. Wu, now there are two plans An and B, and I prefer Plan A. If you have any other suggestions, please remember to reply before 12:00 this evening. If there are no suggestions, we will start at noon tomorrow and make preparations based on Plan A. Thanks for your hard work, boss!
The attitude is gentle and the tone is firm. The boss knows very well that if he doesn't reply in time, he won't dare to procrastinate.
It is really such a simple sentence that there is no disadvantage every time. Because behind this sentence, I see my weakness.
It is because of my low position and limited power that I need to explore a little bit of my power and try my best to make good use of it.
In this way of thinking, the boss has always commented on my employees who have done the best for upward management.
Only by admitting that you are not strong enough.
People around you may become easier to use.
Many people will also have a feeling in the workplace: their own work is smooth, once promoted, to manage others, but there is no way to start.
Former colleague Xiao Luo, is a business expert, took on a lot of work, very conscientious. In order to relieve her pressure, we added two newcomers to her team. But after a while, she said she was more tired than before.
I really can't carry those two newlyweds! Stupid and slow to react, I have to teach them everything by hand. I have done it a long time ago!
Did you tell them? I asked her.
I talk about it every day. I keep saying why you are so slow and inefficient.
Then why did you say that they are still so slow?
I don't know! They are just very inefficient.
Before she was about to explode, I interrupted her: maybe you don't want to change them.
She was surprised. How could that be?
I asked her, what will you do when you get to deadline?
It's angry to say that every time I reach the deadline, I can only do it for them.
Oh, you'll do it for them.
As clever as Ronaldinho, he soon found the problem.
Most of the time, it is not that other people are incompetent, but that you simply do not see their abilities, or do not give them the opportunity to give full play to their abilities.
The newcomer was too slow to do things, and Ronaldinho jumped out to teach: you have to do better this way, but not that way. The message is: you don't need to think for yourself, just do what I say.
If the task is particularly urgent, she will simply take over the job: forget it. I'll do it this time. The meaning of this sentence is: you can do whatever you want, but I will cover for you in the end.
She doesn't think the newcomer has potential at all. In other words, she has always been too capable.
The truth is, if you want to make the people around you easier to use, you have to admit that you are not strong enough.
Later, when Xiao Luo assigned work again, she said to her subordinates, "I'm too busy to fly today. I can't have time to help you. If you can't finish it before deadline, we'll both be fired by the boss."
Do you know what happened? I can't believe she did it. The quality exceeds my expectation! Ronaldinho shared it with me excitedly.
She told me that she was really too late, and in a hurry, she looked for people everywhere to interview and dig up materials in her circle of friends. Stumbling and stumbling is actually done.
That day was a milestone, for me and for her.
Management is not the prerogative of bosses
As long as you have someone around you, you need to manage.
The examples shared above are just a few dimensions of management, but I guess you're starting to understand what I'm talking about:
The so-called management is not just a superficial meaning, it is essentially a change of thinking.
Because I know my limitations, I will find a way to give full play to the value of every effort.
Because I know my own shortcomings, I really need other people to cooperate with me.
And the so-called management, is a small and broad art, it does not need you to be very strong.
Management is a gift for those who know they are not strong enough. Because you need to cooperate, need reasonable distribution, need to give up, and then you will find yourself starting to gather more and more powerful resources around you.
Moreover, management is not the prerogative of bosses. As long as there is someone around you, you need to manage.
When you really establish this kind of management thinking, you will be more flexible to deal with the situation in your life, and you will find that you have more energy to do what you want to do and become what you want to be.
Over the past ten years, I have come into contact with hundreds of entrepreneurs and successful people. I have constantly observed, accumulated and summarized from them, and at the same time integrated into classical management and psychology, summed up a set of effective management thinking.
This kind of thinking has helped me from an intern to a listed company COO in six years. It has also helped many confused young people to become excellent managers, entrepreneurs, working mothers and so on.
So can you. If you want to read more wonderful articles, please pay attention to the reading and appreciation of American articles.
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