Life is like the sea, sometimes calm, sometimes ups and downs, no matter whose life, there are high points, there will be low points.
We always like to enjoy the highlights of life, but it is difficult to get through the troughs of life. After all, it is human nature to pursue pleasure and avoid pain. Facing the depression, entanglement, confusion and anxiety of the trough is an anti-instinctive thing in itself.
Recently, when I met with a friend, she talked about that one of our former colleagues was very depressed at work recently. the evaluation this year was particularly poor, and there was no year-end bonus, and she might still be laid off at any time, although she was not happy with her work. but if she really wants to leave, she can't accept it all at once.
As a matter of fact, the ability of this former colleague to work is not poor to me, but she told her friends that she had entered a low point in her life since she joined the company.
Looking back, when she first joined the company, when the manager chose the project manager, he did not choose her, but chose a person with a lower position than her, which made her very puzzled. Later, she also broke a jar and fell in love with her work. I also like to ignore the manager, even began to do insurance in my spare time, and talked about my insurance business in the company without scruples.
Now it seems reasonable for her to get such an unhappy result.
In the face of the trough of life, her state of mind is negative, self-abandoning and emotional, so in the end she was trapped in the quagmire and never climbed out.
Life is long, step on a few pits, encounter injustice several times, encounter a few scum, nothing is more normal, the key is that when you face the trough of life, what kind of mentality do you hold? do you continue to step on the pit or climb out of the quagmire? Do you feel sorry for yourself or adapt to the environment? Is it self-pity after the injury, or introspection after recognizing the truth?
What is the state of mind? The state of mind is the way you deal with the world and look at things. People are often not confused by things themselves, but trapped by their views and attitudes towards things.
The more you are able to deal with things calmly and calmly during the trough, the more you will be able to break through yourself and achieve new heights in your life, just like a spring, the more oppressed you are, the lower you reach, the stronger the momentum of its rebound.
In the face of the bright moments of life, we can enjoy ourselves, while in the face of the low moments of life, we must have the right state of mind and save potential energy for our future.
Mentality one: the present is not miscellaneous.
When life is at a low ebb, the most likely thing to happen is to have mixed feelings and various emotions to breed wantonly.
Why are you so unlucky? Why does something bad happen to me? Why are you targeting me?
All kinds of voices rise one after another, anyway, they are unable to face the experiences of the past and refuse to admit that they are in the abyss, but such a struggle is not only useless, but even more upsetting and unable to move forward an inch.
When I first graduated from work, the supervisor at that time was alienated because of the personnel struggle, the tasks assigned to our group every day were very trivial and did not have much value, and the members of the group were generally unenthusiastic and idle.
But as usual, the supervisor arrived early in the morning, the regular meeting was held, and the daily work was still followed up carefully. even if other project teams picked out the remaining work, he could deal with it in time and arrange it properly.
Soon after, because of some innovations in his work, he was appointed department manager by the big boss, and those who had run him were dumbfounded.
When I saw Zeng Guofan's phrase "the future is not welcome, the present is not miscellaneous, and I am not in love in the past", I suddenly understood.
The so-called "not miscellaneous at the moment" is to do what you should do when something happens.
Unlucky, lovelorn, laid off, some people may take ten and a half days and a month to recover, confused and lifeless, but people who are "not mixed at the moment" may also take more than ten minutes to deal with their fears and disappointments, but more importantly, he will talk to himself, appease his emotions, he will think rationally, make plans to deal with the predicament, and then he will continue to eat well. Sleep well and still live with self-discipline. Only in this way can you really manage yourself.
In the face of the trough, the person who can really break the deadlock has a "not miscellaneous at the moment" mentality, he can have a determined ability, will not be held back by negative emotions.
Mentality 2: temper things.
When a person is in plain sailing, he is always full of confidence in himself, feeling that everything can be handled properly and stand alone, but if something happens, we often find that we are not focused enough and in a hurry.
Lu Cheng, Wang Yangming's disciple, had a perplexity. He asked, "sit still and work hard. I feel that this heart is so strong that I even think that if we encounter something, we will be able to solve it easily." But I was fooled as soon as something happened. I was really irritable.
Wang Yangming said to Lu Cheng: it is good for people to hone their kung fu on things.
The so-called "honing in things" means that people should hone their minds and abilities in the process of action and practice.
People who have a "hone in things" mentality can always see hope when life is at a low ebb and see the current predicament as an opportunity for personal growth.
As early as a few years ago, I had the opportunity to work in Singapore and a work visa was being processed, but a leader of the company wanted her subordinates to go and finally let me miss the opportunity for an abrupt reason. as a result, I was later assigned to work on an internal project of the company.
This is simply a sudden event that fell from the peak to the trough. I thought I was strong enough inside, but I was still at a loss as to what to do. At one point, I thought it was a very humiliating and unfortunate thing.
As I slowly recovered from my depression, I asked myself
What can I do now?
Can I deal with this situation in a different way?
Later, I really found a new meaning and a new way to deal with the predicament.
This project needs to communicate with Indians, which gives me the opportunity to practice my English, not to mention Hindu English.
In addition to my own job in this project, I actually need to do some management coordination work, which helps to improve my leadership and management ability.
This project is not too tight. I can have extra time to learn more professional knowledge and improve my professional skills.
In less than a year, I left the company because my ability had been greatly improved.
When we have the mentality of "honing things", we can find the opportunity to improve ourselves, get out of the trough and turn grief into strength.
Mentality 3: be proactive
Looking back at the story of her former colleague mentioned at the beginning of the article, because the boss did not use her, she worked passively and perfunctorily, and ended up with a bad result, and she was depressed and anxious.
In the final analysis, all this is the result of her negative response, not actively facing and dealing with problems from the very beginning.
As a matter of fact, I encountered a similar situation when I changed jobs to this company.
Because before I joined the company, someone in the department had already come in before me, so when I first came, everyone rushed to work, and there was no clear division of labor, which I did not expect.
So at that time, I took the initiative to talk to the department boss. No matter in terms of position title or work ability, I felt that I was qualified for the role of product quality supervisor, so I took the initiative to ask the boss to make a good division of labor arrangement.
In the end, my boss also supported my work in this role, so I also made good achievements in my follow-up career development.
When you hold a "proactive" attitude, you do not complain easily, do not easily give up your active choice, and are willing to take responsibility for your actions, so you can take control of your life.
When we are at a low ebb, our own emotional negativity will make us stagnate in action, so we should change our mindset, actively choose to change ourselves, and change the way we look at problems and do things. Only in this way can we produce positive results and give us the courage and motivation to get out of the trough step by step.
If God gives you a good hand and you play well, it's no big deal; if God gives you a bad hand, instead of complaining, it's really admirable.
Everyone has the freedom to choose their own attitude, and life always favors those who understand her and respond positively to her.
Mentality 4: be at ease with the situation
Take the initiative, try your best, but the final result is still not satisfactory, then how to do?
At the trough of life, the most important thing is to be open, because there are a lot of things that happen to us in this world, and we need to understand that there are some things you can control, some things you can't control, and all we have to do is succumb to everything that happens and focus on the things we can control.
Massimo Pigeridge, a professor of philosophy at the City University of New York, mentions the "dichotomy of control" in his book, which advocates that we focus on what we can control and let things go.
In the book, he gives an example of himself, saying that when he was taking the subway, he found his wallet stolen. There are ID cards, credit cards and other documents in the wallet, which must be very difficult to reissue.
When people encounter this kind of situation, they will certainly blame themselves, be angry, and will live in depression for the next few days. But at this time, Pigeridge habitually used the "dichotomy of control". He thought that he could not control the fact that his wallet was stolen, so he could only accept it. Since my wallet had been lost, I should pay attention to the parts that I could control and do what I could.
Then he chose to spend the day well. He had already made an appointment with his friends to see a show in the evening, but as a result, he was not affected by the theft of his wallet at all. He watched the planned show and ate the right meal. His life was not affected at all.
Pigeridge's method of mind reflects a kind of "let things go" mentality, because he knows that the outside world and others we can not control, but we can be ourselves.
He is a positive pessimist who has the courage to change things that can be changed, has the measure to accept things that cannot be changed, and has the wisdom to distinguish between the two.
In this world, problems always emerge one after another, troubles always come and go, and life is a process of upgrading.
In the trough of life, because of the limitations of self-knowledge, so let nature take its course, because the heart has nothing to rely on, so go with the circumstances.
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