I often feel frightened to think that I will soon be twenty years old. If people say that 30 years old is the watershed of life, then about 18 years old is the watershed of youth. People in their late twenties always feel at a loss in a post-zero world.
Think about it before 18 years old, you were still a young and beautiful boy and girl. At that time, you still liked to write rhyming poems and recite them over and over again. Watching a movie with a little bit of tears would be moved to death. Listening to a song with empathic lyrics would be played in a cycle for a few months, liking the words of Li Qingzhao and Li Yu, reading Guo Jingming and falling youth novels, and worshipping Xiao Hong and Sanmao's free life posture. Surprised by Lin Huiyin's perfect triangular relationship, amazing the unique talent of Zhang ailing and Xiao Hong, at that time, you were just secretly worshiping the excellent ta, and love would only sprout in the corner.
You will sneak into the classroom at 12:00 on Christmas Eve just to put attractive red apples in her drawer. You will send New Year's Day your first wishes for the New year at 00:00 in the morning. You will specially apply for a QQ account to add her alone, chat with her, and her space is only open for you. You wrote several boxes of notes and passed through several groups of students every day to talk to each other about lovesickness with the pile of books. You have set up a bunch of finger codes that make your parents look at a loss when they see the symbolic messages on their phones. You will also specially adjust the speed of packing your schoolbag to match her, then pretend to meet at the corner of the stairs and go home together.
It seems to have grown up suddenly, without going through any process, and has imperceptibly become what it is now. No longer love sad spring and autumn, began to live a rough aunt's life, even if the perception of life flashed, but also immediately disappeared like a meteor, and will not try to catch it. There will no longer be blushing and throbbing, and we will begin to choose the right match. There is no Prince Charming and Snow White, but we can only make do with each other. No longer love to read poetry, hate youth novels, especially nausea love material, all the earth-shaking, touching hearts to their own eyes are only turned into affectation four words. Zhang ailing also gradually changed from an existence on the cloud to a real woman. Lin Huiyin's image of a good wife and mother was replaced by exquisite secular faces. Xiao Hong's pursuit of freedom and loyalty to love also made me ponder, but when Ba Jin gently missed Xiao Shan, she burst into tears and lost her voice when she remembered her mother by the riverside. I struggled to extricate myself in the pure love between the new moon and Chu Yanchao.
Maybe there's nothing wrong with this. I can't say beautiful sentences, but I'll tell the truth. I can't write beautiful poems, but I can write profound thoughts. Growth always comes at a price. Taking off the gorgeous coat and showing the simple and authentic inner capsule is also one of the costs.
Author: do not speak or speak
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