The most comfortable relationship is that no one needs to please each other, each other is independent and free, if it is appropriate to be together, if you can't talk, it doesn't matter.
I would rather be alone than go against my will. I would rather regret than make do with it. Those who can enter my heart, I treat it as a treasure. Those who do not enter my heart disdain to be perfunctory.
one
In this world, there is a kind of people who live the most tiring life.
They are used to hiding their true emotions, always exercise restraint and politeness, are afraid of conflict with each other, and dare not refuse easily in the face of each other's demands.
They take good care of other people's feelings and opinions, and as long as they speak a little coldly, they wonder if they have upset each other.
They are always too humble and easily moved by others. When they give her a good point, they secretly keep it in mind, hoping that they can repay them very much.
Even in the face of troubles that are difficult for a person to deal with, he can solve it on his own, for fear of causing any trouble to the other party.
In this world, the more sensitive and sensible people are, the more tired they live.
Get used to catering to each other's expectations and getting used to making the atmosphere harmonious, even at the expense of your own feelings.
It seems that you can get along well with everyone, and you won't be easily offended, even if you have to give in to your principles and bottom line.
As Xi Murong wrote
When I looked back, I suddenly realized that all my efforts in my life were just to make the people around me satisfied with me.
In order to win the approval and smile of others, I put myself into all the patterns, all the shackles. In the middle of the journey, I suddenly found that I had only a vague face and a road that could not turn back.
Gradually live into the way others like, but also gradually cover up the true self.
Seems to be very popular, seems to have a stable relationship, the tiredness behind only you know.
two
When Jiang Fangzhou, a talented woman from Tsinghua University, appeared on the program "Strange work Conference", she also revealed that she had become a flatterer because she wanted others to like her too much.
In the first 20 years of her life, she regretfully lost the opportunity to have a real relationship with the people around her.
What is the real relationship between people?
It is that you can argue with this person and expose the most real and unbearable side of yourself to this person without having to bother to play a likable role without worrying about whether the other person will be unhappy or disgusted all the time.
The relationship is meaningful if you can express yourself freely without deliberately suppressing yourself and pandering to each other.
Because all the people who come by pleasing and attracting are probably not people who can really appreciate you; those who are mixed with too many feelings to please are by no means a healthy model, but they just create a beautiful illusion, but one day it will be shattered.
As Tu Lei said: it is unrealistic to stand on tiptoe to love someone.
When you get to a certain age, you will find that the more difficult it is to maintain a relationship, the more fragile it is.
The person who can really get along with you for a long time will always appreciate the way you are free and independent, not the way you pretend to be humble and flattering.
three
The most comfortable relationship between people is that there is no need to please.
You be yourself, I will be myself, I don't need anyone to cater to who.
Stay together, just because the three values are similar, interests are similar, talk to each other, talk to each other, feel comfortable, so everything is natural, that's all.
Writer Jandi Nelson said that the most suitable partner is like walking into a house where you once lived and you know the furniture, the pictures on the wall, the books on the shelves, the things in the drawer: if you are in the dark in this house, you can still walk around freely.
Honest with each other, and familiar with each other, not so depressed and suspicious, tired and disguised.
A good relationship, it must be so.
You may lose some people and relationships as a result, but those who accept the real you and still choose to stay with you are the ones worth cherishing in your life.
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