Put those fetters and the past back in the wardrobe. I want you to be free to go where you want to go, like you haven't been hurt.
The transformation of this girl moved the whole of France!
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Before the age of sixteen, Frances was far away from the word happiness. She doesn't have her own room and is locked in the wardrobe by her stepmother every night and sleeps with mop and shoes. He was sexually assaulted by his grandfather at the age of five and his virginity was taken away at the age of six. When he was 12 years old, he contracted all the housework, and every day his stepmother slapped her face, kicked her feet, pierced her eardrum and even more violently. Is her life over when the people who raised her made her grow up in humiliation, violence and fear?
Seemingly submissive, but could not stop her from accumulating energy in the dark. At the age of sixteen, she finally left the dark wardrobe to bid farewell to her former misfortune and even became a model mother. she gave birth to three daughters, a surrogate mother of more than a dozen children, and adopted two boys with disabilities.
Her transformation moved the whole of France because she had never shown weakness.
Her story was adapted into a novel the Girl in the wardrobe, which also moved readers all over the world.
Most of us do not have such an unhappy childhood as Frances, so what is the character weakness that prevents us from achieving happiness?
Character weakness 1: agreeable habits and mindset
Frances never tried to please her stepmother for peace, never wanted to bring herself closer to the abuser. When she was weak, she just tried to be obedient to protect herself; when she became strong, she left the home without hesitation.
The corresponding negative personality weakness is the agreeable habit and mentality. If you are unfortunately in a pleasing state of mind, instead of occasionally agreeing to other people's demands or doing things for others, you will always keep your emotions highly consistent with other people's expectations of you, which will eventually make you physically and mentally exhausted. and instead, it will encourage others to dominate you.
Character weakness 2: excessive desire to be affirmed by others
Frances knows about self-identity, self-affirmation, and self-support. Every night when she was locked in the wardrobe by her stepmother, if she was sad, she would repeat her dream to herself over and over again until she became happy and hopeful.
On the contrary, if you excessively want to be affirmed by others and feel indispensable, it seems that without the approval and approval of others, you can not live, then you can easily be manipulated by others. When you want to be recognized by others, your behavior is easy to be controlled by others, and you will gradually lose your true self. The manipulator only needs to do two steps: the first step is to give you what you want (encouragement, companionship, approval or praise), and the second step is to threaten you to take it back (negation, scolding, humiliation or abandonment).
Personality weakness 3: fear of negative emotional attack
Frances never allowed herself to fall into negative emotions such as loneliness, sadness, pain and fear. She began to learn to selectively ignore the things that made her unhappy, and worked hard to make herself happy and made a doll out of a burlap mop.
The corresponding negative personality weakness is the fear of negative emotional attacks. Do you have negative emotional phobia? Emotional phobia refers to excessive or irrational fear of negative emotions. Specifically, these fears include loneliness, sadness, pain, anger, aggression, or hostility, conflict and confrontation. If you have such a weakness, maybe you will make compromises and concessions to reality step by step in order to stay in your comfort zone.
Character weakness 4: lack of ability to say no
After leaving home, Frances did not cling to a man who was not worth trusting for life because of her lack of sense of security. She never bothers a man who doesn't want to run a life with her.
Corresponding negative personality weaknesses: indecision, disorderly cutting, and lack of the ability to say no. You feel that saying to others does not make you feel guilty and selfish, because you do not equate it with disappointment, and for you, you are afraid to change the status quo and dare not say no to imperfect marriages and relationships. Over the years, you are used to being submissive, and others are used to your compromises. In the long run, the people around you will only ignore your feelings more and more.
Character weakness 5: no dream, no self
Frances did not forget the kindness of her loving adoptive mother before the age of six, and she vowed to be as good as her adoptive mother, no matter how difficult it was, instead of giving in to reality and muddling through.
The opposite character weakness is no dream, no self; if you don't know who you really are, what kind of person you really want to be, and where you should stand apart from serving others, then you are one of the self-disappearing people. Life is centered on others and lacks personality, so it cannot be remembered deeply.
Character weakness 6: lack of self-reliance
Frances was able to do all the housework at the age of twelve, so when she left home at the age of sixteen, she was never afraid. What happiness could not be created with industrious hands?
The opposite character weakness is the lack of self-reliance. If you want to avoid being manipulated by others, you must know exactly what you should and shouldn't do. If you lack the ability to analyze problems independently, or are accustomed to relying on the judgment and help of others, you will gradually deepen your dependence on others and gradually fall into the stage of living for others to do what they want to do, focusing on the interests of others. Then how can you create a life that you want and really belong to you?
Personality weakness 7: external control personality
Frances belongs to the internal control type of personality, she only likes to hold fate in her own hands, and has never doubted her ability to spread happiness. She has no inferiority complex and timidity. She has always believed that she deserves to be loved.
The corresponding negative personality weakness is external control personality. Externally controlled people usually think that what happens around them is often under the control of others, has nothing to do with themselves, and is unable to control themselves. Internally controlled people, on the other hand, believe that they can grasp what is happening in their lives. Come on, why does your life belong to someone else?
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