Leo Tolstoy said in Anna Karenina: happy families are equally happy, while unhappy families are unhappy in their own way.
The school affects the knowledge level of the child, the family affects the character and EQ of the child, and the emotion infected by the child in the family shapes his character and speech in the future.
As the earliest and most influential model for children, family education is particularly important to the growth of children.
For the sake of the children, do not do the following 5 points!
Husband and wife are at odds with each other and often quarrel
Parental love is the best tutor for children.
For children, happiness is just holding the father in the left hand and the mother in the right hand. The children have their parents in their hearts, and their parents hold each other in their hearts.
A bad relationship between parents will cause childhood trauma to their children, because the last thing children want to see is that the people they love most hurt each other.
No matter how unbearable it is, don't yell at each other in front of the child, let alone force the child to choose a position, for example, don't ask the young child, "are you following your father or your mother?" , "do you think it's Dad's fault or Mom's fault?" .
Many adults think that children are still young and don't know anything. In fact, children's feelings are much more sensitive than adults.
These "violent" behaviors are deadly "poisons" in the eyes of children and will be engraved in their hearts for a lifetime.
Good parents will use real and delicate love to create a warm family environment for their children: taking their children for a walk arm in arm, shopping together, patiently tutoring their children at home, and telling them bedtime stories.
Marriage requires two people to be in the same boat and support each other. Only when husband and wife work together can the boat sail more steadily and the children reach the happier shore.
Parents love each other and always have a happy and contented smile on their faces. only when children grow up in this environment will they learn tolerance and understanding, love and responsibility.
Excessive blow
Recently heard a saying: many parents, are spoiled by their children, few people will stand from the point of view of their children to consider their preferences, but while desperately inculcating, while angry blow.
Especially in the education of children, it shows a trend of excessive "comparison":
You see, Tai long won the first place in this exam. It's all about learning. How did you learn it?
Next door, Grandma Li's granddaughter Xiaolan won the first prize in this dance competition. I'll send you to learn to dance and see how you twist.
You have learned nothing less than what other children have learned, so why are they not as good as others?
……
This kind of motivational behavior of parents is intended to create a competitive atmosphere for their children, hoping that they can follow the example of others, learn from other people's advantages, surpass others, and win glory for their parents.
As a matter of fact, many children will frustrate their self-esteem and self-confidence. instead of getting angry, they will reinforce an idea in their minds: I am not as good as other people's children, and there is always a child who is better than me.
Every child is a God-given angel and has his own unique advantages.
Just like every flower has its own florescence, and everyone has its own rhythm of life, parents do not need to see other flowers bloom early and make a faint trick of "nurturing seedlings to encourage" for no reason.
There are thousands of forms of flowers, but they bloom differently. Smart parents will become their children's Bole, not their children's life critic.
Be unfilial to your parents
I have heard such a short story:
There are three people in a family, and they are also three generations. One day, the father said to his son, "your grandfather is old and frail and useless in the world. He might as well abandon it in the mountains."
In the middle of the night, the father and son carried the old man to the stream in a basket.When they were about to throw it down, the son said, "Dad, all we have to do is throw people away. why throw away this basket, too?"
The father said angrily, "what do you know?" If you don't even want people, why do you need this crappy basket? "
The son said, "if you throw away this basket, what will my son and I use to bring you here in the future?"
My father was astonished when he heard it, especially when he woke up from a big dream. So he quickly ordered his son to carry the old man home and take good care of him. He never dared to be unfilial any more.
The words and deeds of parents will be imitated in the eyes of their children. No one is born a prodigal son, and it has never been the behavior of human beings to be prodigal.
What you sow when you are young, what you will reap in old age.
If a person can't show filial piety to his parents, how can he convince his children? People who don't respect their parents, no matter how capable they are, their virtues can hardly convince the public.
Filial piety to elders is not only to prevent oneself from regret, but also to leave a way out for his old age.
Lack of oral morality
It is said that parents are the first teachers of their children, and their words and deeds have a profound impact on their children's understanding of the world.
In the eyes of children, the world is simple, there is no intrigue, there is no need to wear a mask to live hypocritically.
Children do not understand what is smooth and fickle, parents talk after dinner, sophisticated clever, children have a panoramic view, you teach children cunning and tricky, will eventually destroy the child's innocence and sincerity.
When you belittle others, you are also affecting your child's oral morality and personality. A person with a bad mouth and a bad tongue will never make a true friend.
Children are grumpy and vulgar in words and deeds, which are often rooted in their parents. Therefore, for the sake of the children, why not know others without saying anything, keep some mouth morality, blame others without harshness, and reserve some tolerance?
Indulge children too much
It has become a high-sounding reason for more and more parents to spoil their children for the sake of their children.
Unexpectedly, this kind of behavior is pushing the child to the edge of the cliff step by step.
Your unconditional love for your children will be taken for granted over time. Children who grow up in this environment appear to be contented and well-nourished, but in fact they will cause emptiness and barrenness in their hearts.
Extreme children will become selfish, domineering, narcissistic, disrespectful to others, and even become "mama's boy" or "Neet".
These problems, which are accustomed to when they are young, tend to make children suffer bitter fruit later on.
If you spoil your child, the world will not spoil him. No matter you teach your child, you will always be disciplined for you.
Before becoming a "servant" of a child, see if you can hold him for a lifetime and be reluctant to let him suffer in front of him. The rest of life will only be more bitter! If you dote on your child too much, you will "bandage the wound" for your child one day.
If you do not want to train your child to be a "white-eyed wolf", you should know how to let go at the right time, let the child do more than he can, and maintain his or her independent personality. after all, there are some sufferings that need to be tasted by the child himself.
Remember that only by letting the child learn to be grateful, take responsibility, and bravely resist the ups and downs of life, can he fly higher, go farther, be more magnanimous and more calm in the future.
The smaller the saplings, the easier to repair, and the smaller the children, the easier to manage. Everyone's way to the world is the same, but the acquired self-cultivation is very different, and family education plays a decisive role to a large extent.
There is no doubt that the conduct of parents determines the quality of family education.
Children in trouble, do not always think that the teacher is not strict, parents are the child's first teachers, you inadvertently ordinary behavior, has long been deeply in the child's mind.
There is a sentence in Cai Gentan:
If your family has had it, you should not be arrogant or abandon it lightly. This matter is difficult to say, it is ridiculed by other things; if you don't realize it today, you will be right tomorrow.
Such as the thawing of the spring breeze and the deicing of harmony, is the model of the family.
A good family style is not a textbook, nor is it a classroom, nor is it a stick waved by parents. It is invisible, but permeates everywhere.
Instead of asking others to do their duty without a single leak, it is better to restrain their own conduct first. Society is a big dye vat. If you want not to be dyed, you should firmly fix your own color.
Each child is like a blank piece of drawing paper, whether the child's life is wonderful or not needs to be described by the parents' heart.
May you remember the above five points, accompany with your heart and water them with love. after all, your child only grows up once, and if you miss it, you will have no chance to start all over again.
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