Recently I saw this sentence on Weibo:

Moderate selfishness is good for health; excessive thoughtfulness is worthless.

After reading it, I suddenly felt a little sad: what kind of feeling is too sensible?

Fu Cha Rongyin of the TV series Yanxi Raiders, which is being broadcast, is the most dignified and virtuous queen and the white moonlight of Emperor Qianlong's life.

However, since she became queen, she served the Empress Dowager, respected the emperor, treated the concubines well, was cautious, knew the overall situation, and was gentle and sensible. However, in the end, both of her children died prematurely, and she also ended up with a tragic death.

When her child died, she asked Qianlong, who am I? Your Majesty, who am I?

However, Qianlong's answer is almost cruel, you are my queen, is Aisin Gioro Hongli's wife, you do not have the power to be presumptuous willful, let alone the possibility of quitting halfway!

In the end, the last straw that crushed Empress Fucha was not her son's death, but her sudden realization that she had been sensible and disciplined all her life, and had done her best every day, but in the end, everything was in vain.

The label of beautiful, gentle and submissive queen made her and kidnapped her.

She lived to be what everyone expected, but she never lived a day for herself.

Maturity and maturity is a good thing, but most people forget that in this world, in addition to maturity and maturity, there are two words called grievance and unhappiness.

If an ignorant person suddenly understands, the whole world will see his change and praise him infinitely.

If a person is too sensible from childhood, he will not have any chance of willfulness. As long as he does something that is not so sensible, he will be criticized.

But such understanding is actually the deepest despair that cannot be seen.

2

Remember, when Du Jiang talked about the education of hum, he said such a sentence: If you can be spoiled willfully, which child is willing to become sensible in grievance?

In the adult world, too, willfulness is the most underrated virtue.

Not long ago, Jiang Fangzhou shared stories about his ingratiating personality at the "Strange Flower Conference."



Jiang Fangzhou, who wrote books at the age of 7 and published books at the age of 9, became famous as a teenager. He was a child of others since childhood.

Whether in ordinary interpersonal relationships or intimate relationships, she tries to show a sensible appearance, avoiding expressing her true feelings for fear of making others unhappy.

Even when others violated her principles and bottom line, she was clearly very unhappy, but she still wouldn't express it.

This kind of ingratiating personality is actually just another way of saying that it is too sensible. I hope to be affirmed and I am afraid that others will be disappointed with me.

Most so-called sensible, in fact, means self-sacrifice. Exchange your discomfort for the comfort of others, and exchange your unhappiness for the satisfaction of others.

Miriam and elfin found that sensible people are prone to people-pleasing disease.

Sensible people are used to giving priority to meeting the needs of others, but they never care about their true feelings.

In the long run, they learned to cater, learn to suppress their emotions, and even build their happiness on the moods of others.

3

In addition to the surface of harmony, compromise in exchange for sensible, not only wronged themselves, but also conducive to the maintenance of relations with others.

I saw a story shared by netizens on social networking sites because my sister-in-law came to their city to look for a job. Although there was no spare room at home, she reluctantly let her son live with her and vacate a room for her after her proposal to borrow money to rent a house was rejected by her family.

However, this kind of sensible, and did not get a good impression of his aunt, but because they lived under the same roof, there were many trivial friction.

she wrote

It was fine if she didn't pay rent or food, but she deliberately turned up the TV volume when others were resting. She didn't even know the basic courtesy of knocking on the door.

Finally, when she could not bear to ask the other party to move out, the other party not only did not appreciate the stay during that time, but said in front of his relatives in his hometown that he was generous and sensible.

There is a high praise answer on the knowledge, too sensible people, from the beginning established that others recognition is higher than self-demand, they in the process of excessive friendliness, constantly lower self-value, so they become more and more low-key, gradually silent, increasingly deceptive.

When you change the quality of sensible, it will be used by others, into a sharp blade to hurt you.

4

Wilde said:

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

Moderate selfishness is good for health; excessive thoughtfulness is worthless.

I know a girl who has a deadbeat brother because her parents prefer boys to girls.

A few years after graduation, regardless of her ability, she almost filled all the money she earned into the bottomless pit of her family. In addition to her parents 'living needs, she had to pay the down payment for her brother and help him marry and have children.

However, no matter how difficult it was, she never said no to her family's requests. However, what he got back was not gratitude from his family, but endless complaints and demands.

It wasn't until she fell ill last year that she, who had worked for a few years, had raised 20,000 yuan for surgery from a few friends. Only then did she suddenly realize that if she insisted on being sensible, she would eventually be the one who would collapse.

From then on, she began to become selfish, no longer unreservedly agreed to the unreasonable demands of her family, only to send a fixed amount of money every month to go back and visit them regularly.

We are used to saying YES, even when we are faced with requests that we cannot or do not want to accept.

However, all living things had an instinct to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. As the spirit of living things, humans had evolved to the extreme in this regard. Selfishness was actually a kind of self-protection.

Therefore, no matter who it is, it should first protect itself, as long as it is not malicious harm, moderate selfishness is a kind of protection for itself.

5

You simply do not know that now accompany in your side that mature sensible, will take care of the boy, is how many tears I used, how many quarrels in exchange.

This is a hot comment from the rest of my life.

People! The more sensible, the more no one heartache, because they know that even if ignored you, you will not be angry, not unreasonable!

The stronger you are, the less people feel bad, because they know that no matter how difficult it is, you can carry it.

So, if you can, please try not to be so sensible, moderate selfishness is beneficial to physical and mental health.

If only we could all be treated with tenderness by the world like BoJack Horseman said:

Don't be sensible too early, don't be too involved, don't love too much, don't sleep too late, don't eat too much, don't be too nice to people, don't believe too much.