The moment I turned on the computer, I found that I didn't know where to start.
I don't have a pretty face, sexy figure, no strong backing, and no social combat experience. Now in this big dye vat of society, I am like a lost lamb, who am I? Where am I? Fooling around in a waste of time.
Carnegie once said that for a smart person, every day is a new life, a new beginning. And now every day for me, is suffering, is confused. It is in this dreaming age, I choose to blindly escape, escape every day.
From graduation to now, I suddenly look back and find that I am alive is a joke. Has been wasted, has been in the game world, like a warm water boiled frog, slowly sinking in comfort. I have been doing the most pathetic thing in my life: I have been procrastinating not to live, dreaming of the wonderful rose garden on the horizon, and giving up appreciation of the roses in full bloom in front of me. I've been lying to myself. It's gonna be okay. When I really came to my senses, I found that it was all in vain. Maybe too negative, but there's nothing I can do about it.
Fantasize about trying to change fate, but what can I do? Maybe I'm just a canary, and I'm used to being trapped. But sometimes I wonder who is trapping whom? Parents? Family? In fact, a different way of thinking to bind their own footsteps. I want to do it, but I don't move forward, always talking about it. May have been accustomed to the arranged life, so that they have lost interest in life.
I run back and forth on the edge of the street every day, but I never walk into a recruiting shop. Maybe this is timidity, this is a child blessed by wings and never grow up.
There is no need to resent anyone when you grow up, only blame yourself for being too timid and cowardly and have no plan for your life. I have been fooling around without a goal. Similarly, I don't know what my heart is like every time I write a sentence. Contempt or ridicule. But I know I feel bad. I always wish I could go out and see the outside world, but I always got a negative answer. If you get used to negation, you will learn to deny yourself. But it doesn't matter. Just get used to it.
Maybe they will say that what I said was too sad, too sad. But it's better to say it. You don't need any sympathy. You just want to relax yourself. Maybe everyone will have a period of confusion and can't see the end of the road. What does it matter? It's enough to live every day. There is no need to disturb yourself today because of yesterday's events, nor to affect yourself for tomorrow's unknowns. Dante once said that life is slipping by at an incredible speed, and we are running through space at a speed of 19 miles per second, but today is the time we cherish the most and the only time we can really grasp. Don't think I'm in despair, I just want to glow in despair. I can, and so can you.
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