Based on 30 years of professional gossip experience, I have found a law: women who have a good life after marriage have a kind of single strength.
What is singles' strength? Is the ability to stay single even if you get married and have a lifelong partner.
You have your Shunji Iwai and Kubrick, he has his Zhou Xingchi and Rob & bull; Cohen
You have your Herta & bull; Miller and Bova, he has his Jin Yong and Liang Yusheng
You have your English afternoon tea and gym, and he has his fishing rod and museum.
You have your best friend, and he has his bad friends.
The best kind of intimate relationship is when two worlds open their doors and welcome each other to visit and play, but they don't drag each other to become a member of their own world.
There are several criteria and results for single strength.
Economic independence
The economic base determines the superstructure of single strength.
Financial independence is not a marriage AA system, but apart from the living expenses of supporting a family together, we have the right to spend our own money and do what we like.
Open a favorite store, pay for a long trip, buy a love bracelet, buy an out-of-print book, or even buy a lipstick.
As long as you keep walking on the road of emptying your desires, you will form a virtuous circle of money-satisfaction.
And these, if your husband buys them for you, it will be a pleasant surprise. It's a sign that he loves you. Implying again and again that you can't get a lipstick, and then hold your breath, it's better to pout your lips to him: husband, is it good-looking?
The result is that you will both be happier with each other at that moment.
The old guild will respect you as much as before marriage, because he can't please you easily, let alone be qualified to look down on you.
The independence of the spiritual world
Women who are financially independent may not have the ability to be single. Because their spiritual world is still attached to their partners. I knew that there was a rich woman who owned a building in Panyu District of Guangzhou. Xianglin complained that her husband treated her badly to everyone.
Mr. Jiang Xun once said:
When you are driven by loneliness to find a way to stay away from loneliness, you will be in a very terrible state, because people who can't get along with yourself are difficult to get along with others, and you must learn to play with yourself.
I think so. After marriage, you still feel lonely, feel the pain of marriage, is to stay away from loneliness in the marriage, hoping that the other party can understand you bit by bit, become the pillar of your spiritual world. You are doomed to be disappointed, and the other person has a sense of suffocation. Loneliness is the norm in one's life, and it should be clearly understood even after marriage.
In addition to the nature of being born lonely, we should also retain the independence of the spiritual world on our own. Play with yourself, which is also the sexy and mysterious side of a woman when she gets married.
You can recite poems and fight against each other, but your husband still thinks you have a good orchid heart if you don't understand it. You know how to fight in the workplace, and your husband bows himself at your royal sister's skirt. We attract flint before marriage, isn't it because we are special to each other? Why not postpone this attraction until after marriage?
Lao Li and I get along day and night, and so far he can't understand many of the articles I've written, but that doesn't stop him from reposting them to his moments, saying brazenly, "I wrote this under my guidance."
I clicked on it, and that article also wrote about my ex-boyfriend.
The ease of time
Singles also require you to take time out of your married life to drink the world alone.
My girlfriend asked me to travel to Jordan and Israel in April last night for a two-week trip. She and I gave a vivid description of the moving scene:
The two of us walk through the desert hand in hand, you are the wind and I am the sand, leaving a rose figure in the ancient city of Petra. Then skim over the diamond counter and complain at the Israeli crying wall that the other party is too good-looking.
Finally, the two men wrote in a tent.
I was moved by an article written in a tent, and two senior housewives hit it off and were ready to start a best friend's single trip.
And our husbands are never annoyed by our decision to abandon our husbands and children. Because our time never fully belongs to the family.
Put aside this occasional long-distance trip, take a short walk, watch a midnight show, go to a coffee shop to read a book, and visit the harbor city. These are all things that do not need, and do not need the company of my husband.
If your husband wants, you can invite him to see the scenery all over the world. And there are some things that you can learn by yourself. Without the blessing of love in the scenery, it is another kind of pure amorous feelings.
No double bids, respect each other's freedom
Singles strength is bilateral, if you keep it, but ask your husband to protect you 24 hours a day, then you may misunderstand the meaning of singles strength. First of all, you are not mentally single, and second, you spend that part of your time.
Just let your husband go, which is also a way to alleviate aesthetic fatigue.
My girlfriend told me that every time her husband went on a hike, he came back black and thin, with bright eyes and a house girl. When she said what she had seen and heard on the trip, her Holmont value would return to the peak and undress on the spot.
Lower your expectations of marriage and be less demanding of soulmate
In fact, the greatest significance of single strength is not to ask for a soul mate and to breathe a sigh of relief to marriage.
I often receive complaints about why I didn't find a soul mate when my husband was not the same person.
I think being strict with your soul mate is a very dangerous state of mind. Adults all know that friends will have a knockout rate because of the alienation of luck and time. When it comes to marriage, everyone becomes harsh.
Even if you were soul mates at the beginning, you will walk in a relaxed way in the face of a long life. You look at things and the things you love will be misplaced with time. I saw a pair of Wenqing friends with my own eyes and got into a fight at the gate of Poly Theater because of their different views on the play "Dream like a Dream". Threw me a beautiful face from Dongzhimen to Tianjin.
Relax, wait, wait,
The one who first entered the marriage may not be the one who get to your soul for the longest time, but it is the toughest and most ingenious fate given to you by the opportunity, and it will accompany you for the rest of your life.
Why do some women fail to see whether they are married or childbearing? Can't you hear the complaint? Blame? Because they always understand that marriage is only a small thing in life.
One end of their life is a beautiful continuation of their single life, and on the other is a marriage in which one more relative loves you. Only such a marriage of mutual respect, mutual understanding and mutual happy can last as long and last forever.
With the strength of singles, you can not only win the marriage, but also save yourself.
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