It is an instinct to love children. Many Chinese parents live with their children as the center and pay too much, but their children take it for granted.
one
Recently, a post on Douban went viral, with netizens complaining about their 10-year-old nephew.
This little nephew is not only excellent in grades, but also outstanding in various hobbies such as Mathematical Olympiad, go and roller skating. the key point is that the little nephew feels that he is too good for his parents to deserve such a good self.
The child said that his parents were so poor that they could only afford to drive a Toyota with more than a hundred thousand yuan. His classmates all had iPhone7, but they only had children's watches.
He always ranks first in the examination, and his talent is outstanding. However, it is such an excellent child that he dislikes his parents because he thinks he is excellent. This is really a farce in which the dog dislikes the family's poverty and the son dislikes his mother's ugliness.
I strive to be excellent in order to get rid of the ignorant and incompetent original family as soon as possible. This is the value pursuit of the first child in the exam.
The little boy, who always ranks first in the exam and has outstanding talent, is held in the hands of his parents, placed on the tip of his heart, and often posted in his circle of friends. his parents give the best they can give, but they are disliked by their children.
two
Coincidentally, I saw a group on Douban.
The group has a name that scares all parents: both parents are evil.
The group is a group of people who feel deeply hurt by their parents and choose to stand on the opposite side of their parents and hate their parents.
Some netizens in the group complained about their parents' poor support, while others felt that they could not enter the upper class because their parents were too poor.
With the resentment of their parents in the words, some people even gnash their teeth, which makes others feel cold when they see it.
Many Chinese parents unwittingly cultivate white-eyed wolves and make all their painstaking efforts, but cultivate well-deserved children one by one.
It means that children feel that their parents deserve all their efforts, and if one day their parents do not pay enough, the children will still feel resentful.
A person who has a strong sense of shame will eventually become a white-eyed wolf.
three
For a family, parents are the root and the child is the fruit.
When there is something wrong with the fruit, it is mostly because of the root, and the fact that children do not know how to be grateful is often due to problems with family education.
Chinese parents are often child-centered and pay too much for their children. they are used to taking care of their children's big and small chores, but forget that their children have the right to learn to love and give.
Your love is too strong, but you miss the opportunity to let your child learn to be grateful. The more parents you give, the easier it is to encourage your child to feel worthy, and often cannot raise a grateful child.
My aunt's family is financially average, and the couple are usually very frugal, but they are very generous to their son, as long as what he wants is to smash the pot and sell iron for him.
What the aunt often talks about is that no matter how bitter it is, you can't suffer the child.
When iPhone4S first came out, my cousin had to buy it, and my uncle drove a crane on the construction site in order to buy a mobile phone for his cousin. In the summer of nearly 40 degrees in Wuhan, he was reluctant to buy a bottle of water.
Then, after buying the mobile phone, I had to buy a computer and go on a trip. Once it rained, my uncle went to pick up his cousin. He was so angry that he didn't want to go with his uncle.
He yelled at his uncle, "Don't come with me, and you don't look at yourself."
His cousin did well in his studies, and his parents were proud of him, but he never wanted his parents to appear in front of his friends. He even resented why his parents were so poor.
Parents give everything, but breed children's superior sense of superiority, children have been used to their parents' pay, but do not know how to be grateful, comfortably enjoy their parents' pay.
Many parents tell their children: as long as you study hard, we will do the rest.
For a long time, children feel that their parents should pay, but do not feel the adult world is not easy.
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A few years ago, there was a TV news like this:
A tragedy occurred at Shanghai Pudong Airport. Wang, a 25-year-old man who went to study in Japan for five years, stabbed his mother who came to pick her up nine times in a row, leaving him in a coma and dying on the spot.
The reason is that in the past five years, Wang's expenses for studying in Japan were all borne by his mother alone, spending more than 1.5 million yuan.
His mother lived frugally, sold her only property, stayed with her mother, and finally borrowed money everywhere, still unable to pay his high tuition fees.
The mother gave all she had, and when she could not meet her son's demands, she got her son's hatred.
It is instinctive for parents to love their children. In China, many parents live with their children as the center and pay too much, but their children take it for granted.
The children raised by their own hands, they regard themselves as the children of their hearts, but when they grow up, they become white-eyed wolves who bleed themselves dry, dislike themselves, and even hate themselves, which makes the parents who have worked hard all their lives feel bitterly cold.
Why is it that the more parents pay, they often fail to raise grateful children?
In fact, the answer is very simple: Chinese parents often only care about their children's food and clothing, and only care about their children's grades, but forget to teach them gratitude.
For a child who does not know how to be grateful, no matter how much his parents pay for him, it is normal in his eyes. Once the normality in his eyes is broken, he will feel resentment.
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Parents all over the world: if you love your children, you must teach them to be grateful.
Grateful children can be separated from their own world, they can feel that it is not easy for others, they are more likely to develop compassion and better interpersonal relationships.
Children who know how to be grateful are happier and happier.
A survey by the University of California, Davis shows that people who are grateful are less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety.
Children who don't know how to be grateful always feel disappointed and dissatisfied in the end.
Let the child learn to be grateful, let him face the world gratefully, learn to love others, this is not the selfishness of parents, but the vision of their children's future life.
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